tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60607663372498234192024-03-14T04:13:03.814-04:00Barbara Pachter's Blog: Pachter's PointersPachter’s Pointers provides weekly business etiquette tips and career suggestions to help people present themselves professionally in today’s business world. Topics include making conversation, business dining tips, presentation skills, communication, social media (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter), assertiveness, professional/business casual dress, email, being polite, verbal/nonverbal communication, interview tips, global etiquette, mingling, entrepreneurs, job search, internships and conflict.Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.comBlogger227125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-34298772988081690632021-08-10T15:35:00.000-04:002021-08-10T15:35:10.869-04:00Which of these women would you hire?<p><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Before
the pandemic, a corporate client inquired about my business etiquette seminar.
During our conversation she told me that she hadn’t hired someone because, “She
looked old, as she had gray hair.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span>
</p><p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
did <u>not</u> color my hair during the last 16 months. It was
wonderful not having to go to the hairdresser every couple of weeks. My dyed
brown hair has almost all been replaced with a combination of my natural gray,
silver, white, and black hair.</span></p><p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ml5tTX3adNU/YRLTvs-BIrI/AAAAAAAABOQ/84WxrBG6eaABffoMbY1sYTHuLMZHlNRLwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/final%2Bblog%2Bwhich%2Bwomen%2Bhire%2Bphoto.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ml5tTX3adNU/YRLTvs-BIrI/AAAAAAAABOQ/84WxrBG6eaABffoMbY1sYTHuLMZHlNRLwCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h225/final%2Bblog%2Bwhich%2Bwomen%2Bhire%2Bphoto.png" width="400" /></a></div><p></p><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
photo on the left – taken five years ago – is my corporate head shot, and on
the right is a recent photo. Photographer Joey Del Palazzo took both photos,
and we tried to recreate the original setting as best we could for the second
photo shoot. </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span><p></p>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
teach business etiquette and professional presence, and I know that hairstyle
and hair color are important parts of a person’s image. I also know that people
have strong opinions about hair color. There’s a meme featuring The Joker that
says: <i>Change your hair color and everybody loses their mind.</i></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span>
</p><p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Do
you make assumptions when you see a professional with gray hair?</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Do
you think gray hair makes a woman look old, out-of-date, or less professional?
And do you believe that gray hair can make men look distinguished, but not women?<br /></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
want to believe that gray hair can signal wisdom and experience in both men and
women. I also want to believe that gray hair – if it’s cut well and suited to
you – is <u>not</u> a reason to reject anyone as a job applicant or seminar
lecturer.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">One
of my clients recently admired my silver-gray-black mane and told me, “People
pay a lot to get your current hair color!” On the other hand, my style-conscious
sisters joke that I am now the oldest sister! (I am the middle sister.)</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">If
I keep my new hair color – and I’m leaning towards doing so – I will follow the
advice of businesswoman and white-hair fashion icon Iris Apfel: “<i>If your
hair is done properly and you have on good shoes, you can get away with
anything.” </i></span></p><p><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><i><a href="http://www.pachter.com" target="_blank">Pachter & Associates</a>
provides seminars and coaching on communication, career development,
business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and
business etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce
Hoff at joyce@pachter.com. (<a href="http://www.pachter.com">www.pachter.com</a>) <br /></i></span></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="yiv1732870227msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 16.0pt;"></span></b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><i></i></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></p>
<p></p>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-12799135699488342382021-04-04T13:58:00.002-04:002021-04-05T09:04:53.664-04:00The Power of Nice!<p>I had the following conversation with my son after he had his car serviced:</p><p><i>“Mom, they did a great job on my car,”</i> he told me.</p><p>I asked, <i>“Why do you say that?”</i></p><p>His reply: <i>“As I was leaving, we talked about new cars and the mechanic told me to have a safe trip home.” </i></p><p>I thought to myself that my son knows very little about the inner workings of cars, yet because the mechanic was nice and friendly to him, he believed that the man had done a good job on his vehicle.</p><p>He is not alone in how he judges the quality of someone’s work.</p><p>A colleague recently decided to go with one software vendor over another because, as she said, “He was so friendly.” I call this phenomenon the “halo effect” of being nice. (The term “halo effect” was first coined in 1920 by psychologist Edward Thorndike, who concluded that your impression of someone will influence your view of his or her abilities.)</p><p>And there are consequences to <u>not </u>being nice.</p><p>David Von Drehle, a Washington Post columnist, wrote an opinion <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/andrew-cuomo-is-plummeting-and-theres-no-one-left-to-catch-him/2021/03/26/c19cfcea-8e5c-11eb-a730-1b4ed9656258_story.html?utm_campaign=wp_week_in_ideas&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_ideas&carta-url=https%3A%2F%2Fs2.washingtonpost.com%2Fcar-ln-tr%2F314a0e4%2F606061d69d2fda1e56d69a84%2F5972a0f6ae7e8a1cf4ac6de7%2F68%2F82%2F606061d69d2fda1e56d69a84" target="_blank">piece </a>concerning the recent troubles surrounding New York Governor Andrew Cuomo. In it, he commented: <i>“Many things have been said of Andrew Cuomo, often with respect and occasionally with admiration — but ‘nice to people’ is not one of them.”</i> The headline on the column explains that comment: <b>Andrew Cuomo is plummeting, and there’s no one left to catch him. </b></p><p>Remember that being nice and friendly will <u>not</u> make up for inferior work. Let me say that again: Being nice and friendly will <u>not</u> make up for inferior work. What it will do is encourage people to view you and your work positively. People will enjoy working with you or for you if you are nice to them. And that is an advantage in anyone’s line of work.</p><p>Here are five steps to follow to encourage others to react to you in a positive way: </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OeGgrigEksU/YGn749nZZYI/AAAAAAAABMM/iSRnZXzL854DdokIELiy85DbMLyXXNXYgCLcBGAsYHQ/s625/Picture10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="367" data-original-width="625" height="118" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OeGgrigEksU/YGn749nZZYI/AAAAAAAABMM/iSRnZXzL854DdokIELiy85DbMLyXXNXYgCLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h118/Picture10.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><b>1. Greet people.</b> This is one of my more common suggestions, yet people still tell me that they often feel ignored by others. People believe that they greet others, but I encourage you to monitor yourself over the next couple of weeks, and make sure that you really do. You need to say “Hello,” “Hi,” “Good morning,” or offer a similar greeting to people you know – and to people you don’t know. This is also true during Zoom meetings. Greet people when you join the meeting. If people are talking when you enter the meeting, you can smile and wave.<p></p><p><b>2. Make some small talk.</b> You don’t need to know people’s life stories, but a little small talk can help establish a connection between people. Use “safe” topics. You can talk about the weather (front-page stories such as hurricanes generally have more conversational appeal), traffic, common experiences, travel, sports (if everyone is interested), entertainment (movies, plays), holiday celebrations, upbeat business news, vacations, current events (cautiously), and the activity you are attending. Additional information on small talk can be found in my book, <u><a href="http://bit.ly/BizEtiq" target="_blank">The Essentials of Business Etiquette.</a></u></p><p><b>3. Offer to help, when you can.</b> Why not lend a helping hand, if possible? If someone seems overloaded with assignments, assisting that person is a nice thing to do.</p><p><b>4. Speak well of others.</b> You appear gracious when you speak well of other people’s accomplishments, not just your own. </p><p><b>5. Have an exit line.</b> An exit line establishes the ending of an encounter and paves the way for the next meeting. Sample exit lines include, “Nice talking to you,” “Have a great weekend,” or “Have a safe trip home.”</p><p><a href="http://www.pachter.com" target="_blank">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on communication, career development, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and business etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com. (<a href="http://www.pachter.com">www.pachter.com</a>) </p><p> </p><p> </p><div><br /></div>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-90366643032138095602021-03-08T07:09:00.003-05:002021-03-08T07:11:22.456-05:00Women are being interrupted … again!<p>Yet another study shows women are interrupted more than men. </p><p>A recent article in The New York Times, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/23/business/economy/economics-women-gender-bias.html?campaign_id=9&emc=edit_nn_20210223&instance_id=27427&nl=the-morning&regi_id=66867294&segment_id=52225&te=1&user_id=6d41e7705b8e1485b05e25e7111e72eb">For Women in Economics, the Hostility Is Out in the Open,</a> discusses a <a href="https://cssh.northeastern.edu/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/GenderSeminarDynamics.pdf">study</a> reported last month that found when female economists presented their research findings, they were interrupted by audience members asking questions. The women received 12 percent more questions than men, and they were more likely to get questions that were patronizing or hostile.</p><p>Other examples of women being interrupted more than men include:</p><p>--A few years ago an article in the Harvard Business Review, <b><a href="https://hbr.org/2017/04/female-supreme-court-justices-are-interrupted-more-by-male-justices-and-advocates">Female Supreme Court Justices are interrupted more by male justices and advocates</a></b>, found that male justices interrupted female justices about three times as often as they interrupted each other during oral arguments. The research also found that “there is no point at which a woman is high-status enough not to be interrupted.”</p><p>--During a women’s communication seminar in Kuwait some years ago I commented that men interrupt women more than they interrupt other men. One of my students said, <i>“Barbara, you’re right. You can see the American men interrupt the American women on your TV shows that we get here.”</i> I was surprised that this gender bias was so obvious – but I really shouldn’t have been. </p><p>When a woman is interrupted regularly with questions or comments (anyone can be interrupted occasionally), her credibility is being challenged, and her influence can certainly be minimized as a result.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Jtih8XX48RI/YEYSw-VxXVI/AAAAAAAABL0/sBff8-8aTFYo_TzE1d4NPDQjeioAGddMgCLcBGAsYHQ/s960/interrupting%2Bworkplace-1245776_960_720.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="960" height="133" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Jtih8XX48RI/YEYSw-VxXVI/AAAAAAAABL0/sBff8-8aTFYo_TzE1d4NPDQjeioAGddMgCLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h133/interrupting%2Bworkplace-1245776_960_720.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>The following suggestions can help women – and men – to manage interruptions assertively, whether people are asking unsolicited questions or interjecting unwanted comments during small meetings or large group presentations: <p></p><p><b>Let people know when you will be taking questions. </b>Either the speaker or the meeting organizer can tell people how the Q&A will be handled. Often the audience is asked to hold questions until the end – though this doesn’t mean everyone will do so! The Times article mentioned that “several universities have instituted rules meant to cut down on bad behavior, such as banning questions for the first 10 or 15 minutes of a talk so that speakers [economists] can get through at least the beginning of their presentations uninterrupted.”</p><p><b>Continue speaking.</b> If you do so, the person trying to interrupt you often will stop talking. You may need to raise your volume a little to make sure the person hears you, but don’t shout.</p><p><b>Ask yourself: Are you making it easy for people to interrupt you? </b> Don’t underestimate the power of your nonverbal communication skills. Appear assertive – keep your body language open, and don’t cross your arms. Look at the audience. When you avoid looking at your audience, some members may feel emboldened to interrupt. Make sure you don’t move back when interrupted – it can make you appear fearful. Move towards audience members when you can. Check your rate of speech: Are you speaking too slowly, which allows others to jump in? Check your volume: Are you speaking loudly enough to have what you say come across authoritatively?</p><p><b>Defer answering, if the answer to the question will be explained later in your talk.</b> Often, you can say, “I am going to hold off answering that question as I will be discussing that topic in a few minutes.” Of course, if the CEO asked the question, you may want to answer it right away!</p><p><b>Don’t be a puppet on your audience’s string.</b> If the audience is shouting questions at you, make sure you repeat the question you are about to answer. If you don’t, you are being controlled by the audience as you try to field one question after another. When you take the time to repeat the question, you gain control – you decide which questions to address, and in what order. </p><p><b>After you have answered someone’s question, do not ask, “Did that answer your question?”</b> You could be setting yourself up, as the person may respond, “No.” And then what do you do? If the questioner wants more information, he or she will let you know – or seek you out later.</p><p>Additional information on how to make powerful presentations can be found in my book, <i><a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic">The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes. </a></i></p><p><a href="http://www.pachter.com">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, professional presence, and presentation skills. Contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com for more information. (www.pachter.com) <br /></p><p> </p>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-37557952629934377492020-12-20T08:14:00.001-05:002020-12-20T12:28:55.741-05:00What’s in a title? A lot — especially for women<p><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><i>Why are female doctors introduced by first name while men are called 'Doctor'?</i></i></div><p></p><p>This provocative headline was on a Washington Post article a few years ago that featured two women physicians at the Mayo Clinic who had noticed that their male colleagues were usually introduced at conferences as “Doctor So-and-so.” But the two women and other female doctors were often introduced by their first names, when the person introducing them was a man.</p><p>Last year, I heard the pilot of my flight introduce himself using his title of captain, but then introduce his co-pilot by her first name only.</p><p>And most recently a Wall Street Journal opinion <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/is-there-a-doctor-in-the-white-house-not-if-you-need-an-m-d-11607727380">piece </a>by Joseph Epstein made minimizing remarks about Jill Biden’s use of her title "Dr.", including the comment: <i>Any chance you might drop the “Dr.” before your name? “Dr. Jill Biden” sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic.</i></p><p>Is the use of titles a big deal? Yes. I believe it is. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-04JlIagbT9o/X99LJEEtbYI/AAAAAAAABKw/KUZNcc--EUokcdxMdUk1zjBN2YJTe2MKwCLcBGAsYHQ/s925/woman-presenting_925x.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="617" data-original-width="925" height="133" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-04JlIagbT9o/X99LJEEtbYI/AAAAAAAABKw/KUZNcc--EUokcdxMdUk1zjBN2YJTe2MKwCLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h133/woman-presenting_925x.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>How people address you and what you call yourself really do matter. Names – and titles – have power. Names and titles may confer dignity, or take it away. They influence how you are perceived, and whether people take you seriousl<i>y.</i><p></p><p>Though the problem of unequal introductions may not be on the same level as eliminating sexual harassment or the gender pay-gap, it is a communication concern with negative implications for women.</p><p>Denying professionals the prestige that a title conveys is a subtle way of undermining them.</p><p>Whom would you take more seriously, or believe was more competent: “Dr. Tom Jones” or “Sally Smith”? It seems obvious that it would be the person with the title, because that testifies to his training and professionalism.</p><p>The following six suggestions on use of titles and names will help you stop negatively influencing others’ perception of women, even inadvertently. These tips apply for both men and women, and to writing emails. </p><p><b>1. Be consistent with your use of titles.</b> Use professional titles equally for both men and women. If you are mentioning a man by his title, such as Doctor Jones or Professor Smith, refer to a woman the same way. This is valid whether you are giving a speaker introduction, introducing someone to other people at the office or in social situations, or simply mentioning people in informal discussions.</p><p><b>2. Use a woman’s title.</b> Some organizations are very informal with names, but if professional titles are typically used in your organization, refer to women by theirs, such as Dr. (Sally) Jones.</p><p><b>3. Refer to friends/colleagues by their titles when in business settings. </b>You may have a great relationship with Dr. Jones and use her first name when you are together. When you are with other people, however, you should refer to her by her title. You are recognizing her achievement in front of others. If you do not do this, you are establishing a norm that tells people it’s okay for them to call her by her first name. And that may not be the case. (This also applies to men.)</p><p><b>4. Be consistent with the honorific ‘Mr.’ and ‘Ms.’</b> This is similar to the first item. If you say or write, “Mr. Williams,” do the same for the woman, “Ms. Jones.” This conveys a level of respect for both parties. You do not want to say something like, “Mr. Williams and Karen went to the meeting.” In an informal setting you might also use first names for both, such as “Tom and Karen went to the meeting.” </p><p><b>5. Refer to women in the workplace as ‘women.’</b> Businessmen aren’t referred to as boys; businesswomen shouldn’t be referred to as girls. The words “girls” and “boys” indicate children. I know, I know, you are going to say that it’s intended as a compliment, or it’s a way of expressing camaraderie, as in “girls’ night out” or “the girls I work with in the office.” But ultimately it fosters a less-professional image for women. </p><p><b>6. Don’t use a woman’s nickname or shorter form of her first name —unless you know it is okay to do so or are asked to do so.</b> Children are often called by nicknames. And many shortened names do not have the same standing as full names. My name is Barbara. Do not call me “Barb,” and definitely not “Barbie.” This situation can be tricky. Sometimes people, especially high-power people, will use their nicknames to seem friendly and more approachable. Christine Todd Whitman, the first woman governor of New Jersey and former head of the EPA, will often refer to herself as Christie Whitman. (Her current website is www.christiewhitman.com.)</p><p>Men also can be influenced by shortened names. According to a story about basketball legend Michael Jordan on the CBS show 60 Minutes a few years ago, he went from being called “Mike Jordan” to “Michael Jordan” after he scored the winning basket in the 1982 NCAA championship game.</p><p>(Note: At the beginning of my blog I didn’t refer to the author of the WSJ article as Joe or Joey Epstein. I used Joseph Epstein--giving him some measure of respect, which he seemingly didn’t want to give the First Lady-elect.)</p><p>Start paying attention to your word choices. You may be surprised at how you have been referring to women. Additional information on communication can be found in my book,<i> <a href="bit.ly/CommClinic">The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes.</a></i></p><p><i> </i></p><p><i>*This is a repost of a previous blog. It has been updated.</i></p><p><a href="pachter.com">Pachter & Associate</a>s provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, professional presence, and presentation skills. Contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com for more information (www.pachter.com) </p>
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And if you offend someone in the first line, that person may not read any further. </p><p>Effective salutations can help you connect with your reader, which is especially important during a pandemic. Here are suggestions for starting your correspondence without offense:</p><p><b>1. Spell the recipient’s name correctly.</b> Let me repeat this: <i>Spell the recipient’s name correctly.</i> It may not bother you, but I want to impress upon you that many people are insulted if their name is misspelled. Check for the correct spelling in the person’s signature block. You can also check the "To:" line. Often, people’s first and/or last names are in their addresses.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jkJeLadO_LE/X80RLz1-3XI/AAAAAAAABKI/Tw_dTTsVwy0JB64Jn0zXhrSpPkrqbGloACLcBGAsYHQ/s600/email%2Bphoto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="133" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jkJeLadO_LE/X80RLz1-3XI/AAAAAAAABKI/Tw_dTTsVwy0JB64Jn0zXhrSpPkrqbGloACLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h133/email%2Bphoto.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><b>2. Don’t shorten a person’s name or use a nickname unless you know it is okay.</b> Use the person’s full name ("Hi, Jacob") unless you know it is okay to call him Jake. My name is Barbara, but please don’t start your emails to me using “Hi Barb.” (And the only people who may refer to me as Babz are my son and his friends!)<p></p><p><b>3. Avoid “Dear Sir/Ms."</b> This salutation tells your reader that you have no idea who that person is. Why then should the reader be interested in what you have to say? </p><p><b>4. Use a non-gender-specific, non-sexist term </b>if you don’t know the person’s name. You can use Dear Client, Customer, or Team Member. You can also use Representative, and add it to any company name or department name, such as “Dear Microsoft Representative,” or “Dear Human Resource Representative.” </p><p><b>5. Salutations are highly recommended in emails. </b>Email doesn’t technically require a salutation, as it’s considered to be memo format. When email first appeared, many people did not use salutations. Eventually, people starting adding salutations to appear friendlier and to soften the tone of their writings. </p><p>There is a hierarchy of greetings, from informal to formal, and you should match the salutation to the relationship you have with the recipient. The hierarchy follows this format: </p><p> <i> Hi, / Hi Anna, / Hello, / Hello Julianna, / Dear Justin, / Dear Mr. Jones,</i></p><p>If the person you are writing to is a colleague, “Hi Anna,” should be fine. If you don’t know the person, or the person has significantly higher rank than you have, you may want to use the more formal greeting: “Dear Justin,” or “Dear Mr. Jones.” </p><p>In addition to the greeting, pay attention to these points:</p><p>–After two or three emails have gone back and forth on the same email string, the salutations can be dropped.</p><p>–The punctuation completing the greeting is a comma. </p><p>–If more than one person will receive an email, use "Hello Sara and Bill," or "Hello Everyone." </p><p>– "Hey" is a very informal salutation ("Hey Josh,"<i> </i>) and generally should not be used in the workplace. Opening with "Yo" is definitely not okay, no matter how informal your relationship with the recipient. Use "Hi" or "Hello" instead.</p><p>–As illustrated in one of the opening quotes, there are people who don’t like receiving an email that starts with “Good morning” or “Good afternoon.” Although I believe this is a minor offense, using “Hello” instead eliminates the possibility of offending anyone. </p><p><b>6. Salutations are required in letters.</b> (Okay, there is one type of letter, the simplified format, that doesn’t require a salutation, but that’s not typical usage. The format is generally used for marketing.) In today’s workplace, a letter is a more formal type of correspondence, and should start with “Dear” followed by either the person’s first name and a colon – “Dear Marie:” – or an honorific and the person’s last name, followed by a colon – “Dear Mr. Jones:”. </p><p>Additional information on writing emails can be found in my book, <i><a href="http://bit.ly/BizEtiq">The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success.</a></i></p><p><a href="pachter.com">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on business writing, professional presence, business etiquette, and communication. Contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com for more information. (www.pachter.com)</p><p style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.75); font-family: "Source Serif Pro", serif; line-height: 3.2rem; margin: 3.2rem 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></p><p> </p><div><br /></div>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-67474425784144270692020-11-29T07:05:00.000-05:002020-11-29T07:05:28.650-05:00 Saying Goodbye: Suggestions for Closing Your Emails <p><i><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">If customers include a
closing in their emails, it indicates to me that they are friendly, and so I
will do their work first. </span></i></p><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">A woman in one of my writing classes made the above comment when we were
discussing how to end an email. Others joined in and added that they liked
seeing closings in emails they received.<br />
<br />
I agree. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VSBtwfIt5gY/X8ONSnShwdI/AAAAAAAABJY/sRM1KalcW04PoRsYt9GKsG0BpG_rA0HWACLcBGAsYHQ/s596/women%2Bat%2Bcomputer.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="381" data-original-width="596" height="128" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VSBtwfIt5gY/X8ONSnShwdI/AAAAAAAABJY/sRM1KalcW04PoRsYt9GKsG0BpG_rA0HWACLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h128/women%2Bat%2Bcomputer.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /></span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Emails that simply end without some kind of closing can seem too
abrupt. And in today’s coronavirus world, it is especially important to
seem approachable.</span><div><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">
<br />
During my recent Zoom classes, numerous questions surface about which closing
is appropriate in our casual workplace. Deciding what to use can be confusing.
When email first appeared in the workplace, salutations or closings were rarely
used. Over time, we have added both to our emails. Though there has been some discussion
in the media about whether we need to use closings, in my experience, the
majority of people want to keep them.<br />
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I encourage businesspeople to use closings. Here are my six suggestions:<br />
<br />
<b>1. If you start with a salutation, end with a closing.</b> It provides
balance to the email. The correct punctuation after the closing is a comma.<br />
<br />
<b>2. Match the closing to the salutation.</b> If you use an informal
salutation, such as “Hi Amanda” or “Hello Gavin,” use “Regards,” “Best,” “Best
regards,” or “Thanks” to close. If you use a more formal salutation, such as
“Dear Ms. Jones,” use “Sincerely” or “Sincerely yours.” Only the first word of
the closing is capitalized.<br />
<br />
<b>3. End with a “closing statement.”</b> Since closings are more
relaxed in emails than in letters, you can use a brief statement as your
closing, such as “See you at the meeting,” “Thanks for your help” or “Have a
great weekend.”<br />
<b><br />
4. With no disrespect intended, avoid using ‘Respectfully.’ </b> This
very formal closing is usually reserved for government officials and
clergy. Another closing to avoid is “Faithfully yours.” This wording
comes from British English, and a woman from India who was in my class said
that she was advised very quickly by her boss not to use that closing in the
U.S. <br />
<br />
<b>5. Tell people what you want to be called.</b> After the closing, on
the next line, type your name the way you want to be addressed. If you want to
be called “Mike” instead of “Michael,” you should sign “Mike.” <br />
<br />
<b>6. Once emails become a back-and-forth conversation, you can drop the
closing.</b> It begins to sound repetitious and somewhat silly if you have
a long string of emails all proclaiming, “Best regards, Mike.” Additional
information on emails can be found in my book </span><span face=""Calibri",sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/6060766337249823419/2908767864421053179"><i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet,
Eat and Tweet Your Way to Success</span></i></a></span><i><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 13.5pt;">.</span></i><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
</span><span face=""Calibri",sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/6060766337249823419/2908767864421053179"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Pachter & Associates</span></a></span><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> provides seminars and
coaching on business writing, professional presence, etiquette and
communication. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at
joyce@pachter.com (www.pachter.com)</span></div>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-69538611510979787222020-10-22T08:22:00.001-04:002020-10-23T06:37:12.976-04:00Don’t Whine About Your Job. Do Something! <p><i><br />My coworker hates her job. She keeps complaining to me. I have tried to talk to her about what she could do, but she is not listening. She is worried about finding a new position during the coronavirus pandemic. </i><i> </i></p><div style="clear: both;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>My husband keeps threatening to quit his job. He only comments negatively about his job and the people who work with him. I wish he would just do something.<br /><br />My friend was having difficulty with her schedule, but she didn’t go to her boss to discuss alternatives. She just quit. When I had a problem, my boss adjusted my schedule. My friend’s might have been adjusted, too, if she had said something.</i><br /><br />As these comments from participants in my seminars indicate, tackling problems that affect our work lives can be difficult. <br /><br />When some people become dissatisfied with their work, they do nothing. Perhaps they don’t know how to proceed, or maybe they don’t believe there is anything they can do to improve the situation. Usually, the only action they take is to whine about their bosses, their colleagues, or the work. </span></div><div style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div style="clear: both;"><span style="font-size: small;">Unfortunately, complaining doesn’t accomplish anything – except having your friends, colleagues and others stay clear of you.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oRhj3vXl7o4/X5KxpSggISI/AAAAAAAABIc/OTthjp3r3HgMyKN_dKrt5iHt6mH4Rh6yQCLcBGAsYHQ/s443/6whine%2B%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="341" data-original-width="443" height="154" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oRhj3vXl7o4/X5KxpSggISI/AAAAAAAABIc/OTthjp3r3HgMyKN_dKrt5iHt6mH4Rh6yQCLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h154/6whine%2B%25283%2529.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div>Some, on the other hand, get so frustrated that they impulsively quit their jobs without having another lined up, or without even a plan for the future.</div></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"></span></span> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Both reactions can affect your career negatively. However, there is an alternative that can help people evaluate their work situations. Answering the following four questions encourages people to take action and decide their next steps.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b> </b></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>1. Ask yourself, what is the real issue?</b> It is easy to say, “I hate my job,” but it is important to identify why. What is the real issue that is causing you to be unhappy? Be honest and be specific. Is it the type of work you do, or just one aspect of the job? Is it the commute, the money, your boss, the people you work with, or any number of other causes? One man I coached liked most of the facets of his job, but wanted to quit because he had to make frequent presentations. Another realized that her new position involved using unfamiliar technology, which made her feel uncomfortable and unqualified. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b> </b></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>2. Can you solve the problem?</b> Now that you have identified the issue, is there something that can be done? Is there a realistic solution? If so, what do you have to lose by asking for it? Make the case for your suggestion, including any benefits to your department or to the company. Remember that if you don’t speak up, chances are nothing will change.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b> </b></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>3. Are there advantages to this job?</b> If you can’t solve the problem, think about what you are gaining from the position. Don’t just quickly say, “Nothing.” Here are four possible things to consider:</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i> </i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i>--Is the job a stepping stone?</i> Will you need the skills you gain from this position to qualify for a job on the next rung of the ladder? One of my early jobs involved working for a horrible boss. Yet I stayed until I had gained the experience I needed, and then I left. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i> </i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i>--Is there any education or training perk to which you have access?</i> Some companies will fund part or all of your ongoing education. This can be a major benefit for many people.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i> </i></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i>--Who are you meeting?</i> Does the job allow you to interact with people and build your network? If so, it is possible that by having a strong network, additional job opportunities will come your way. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><i>--Can you learn to manage your boss?</i> Learning to work with difficult people is an important skill that almost certainly will be beneficial to you at some point in your career.</span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><b>4. Is it time to start a job search?</b> Depending on how you answer the above questions, you may decide that it is time to start looking for a new position. (Specific suggestions for looking for work during the pandemic can be found in my blog,<i> <a href="http://www.barbarapachtersblog.com/2020/06/looking-for-job-10-tips-to-help-you.html">Looking for a job? 10 tips to help you succeed in a coronavirus world</a>). </i>You may even decide to change careers. Any number of alternatives may now be available to you. This doesn’t mean you just quit your job. Generally, it is best to look for a new job (or career) while you are still working at the old one. </span></span></span></span></span><div><br /></div><div>Information on conducting a thorough job search can be found in my book <a href="http://thorough/"><i>The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes. </i></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"> </span></span></span></span><div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><span style="font-size: small;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Whether you decide to stay at your current job or to look for a new one, feel good about your choice. You are doing something: You have taken charge of your career.</span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">I post regularly on communication and etiquette. We can connect via <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/barbarapachter/" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/barbarapachter" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pachtertraining/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Facebook</a> or my website:<a href="http://pachter.com/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">pachter.com</a></span><br /><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"> </span><br /><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">About: <b>Barbara Pachter </b>is an internationally-renowned business etiquette and communications speaker, coach and author of 11 business books. She helps individuals communicate more effectively and enhance their professional presence. (bpachter@pachter.com) </span><i> </i><br /></div></div>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-13666972768304410382020-09-30T20:39:00.000-04:002020-09-30T20:39:46.038-04:00Someone else’s bad behavior is no excuse for your own<div class="separator"><p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="112" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VmJW0KaZlZM/X3UhPPgma-I/AAAAAAAABIA/_p5EsuOz5CMuR0LqRSAUwhZftAlColqpACLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h112/angry%2Bman.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" width="200" /></p></div><p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">My coworkers post such vile things on their Facebook
pages. I want to tell them that they’re all idiots.</span></i></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: arial;">I want to work out; I don’t want to argue with my
trainer about the election. If she doesn’t stop talking about her candidate, I
will go elsewhere.</span></i></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: arial;">I don’t want to discuss politics at work. Yet, my
colleagues say nasty things about the candidates and often end up yelling at
each other. What do I do?</span></i></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;">The recent outbreaks of uncivil behavior in the
political arena have impacted our everyday ex</span>periences, as the comments above
testify. But it's time for people to fight back – politely, of course – and
assert that being uncivil to one another is not the way we want public figures
to behave. Nor is it the way we should behave.</span></p><p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;">
Bear in</span> mind:</span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;">-- You don’t have to mirror the impolite
actions of others.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;">-- You can be “polite and
powerful” and express yourself without resorting to bad behavior.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;">Use these tips to encourage polite behavior in
your workplace and in your wider world. (These apply to your social media
postings, also.)</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><span style="color: black;">1. Don’t attack back.</span></b><span style="color: black;"> Remember that someone else’s bad behavior is no
excuse for your own. I know this may be a hard concept to accept, and even
harder to implement – but it is worth practicing. If somebody says something to
offend you, it may feel good to respond with a comment like, “Well, what do you
know, you idiot?” But this type of response is not going to build y</span>our
credibility or accomplish anything. Plus, it gives the other person power
over you, by getting you to say things that most people will regret
later. </span></p><p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><br /></b></span></p><p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>2. Dis</b></span><b style="font-family: arial;">agree agreeably.</b><span style="font-family: arial;"> If you have difficulty </span><span style="font-family: arial;">with someone, talk to
the person. Listen to what </span><span style="font-family: arial;">he or she has to say. </span><span style="font-family: arial;">You can evaluate an idea
without attacking the person who is promoting </span><span style="font-family: arial;">it. Explain your reasons. Provide
the specific information, quotes and/or research. You can say, “I see it
differently, and here’s why…” which is a lot more productive than screaming at
people or calling them names. Or, you can say, “Let’s agree to disagree and
move on,” or “I am not discussing politics at work. Let’s get back to the topic
at hand.” </span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
<b>3. Avoid inflammatory words.</b> Using harsh words such as “stupid,”
“ignorant,” and “dumb” only inflames a situation, and this approach is unlikely
to lead to a positive resolution. Name calling is just wrong – and childish.
Cursing at people is not only mean, it also reflects poorly on the one doing
the cursing. (Additional information on word choice and how to
respond assertively to aggressive comments can be found in my book,<i> </i></span><a href="http://bit.ly/2ndEdPPC"><span style="color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;"><i><span style="color: black;">The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures
for the Most Common Business Mistakes.</span></i></span><span style="color: black;">)</span></a></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
<b>4. Remember that it’s hard to be nasty to people who are nice to you.</b>
This includes meetings in person or via Zoom. Keep “please,” “thank you,” and
“excuse me” in your vocabulary. Greet others when you see them. Don’t
interrupt people. Help them when you can. These behaviors are common sense, but
unfortunately they’re not always common practice.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: black;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><span style="color: black;">5. Do something.</span></b><span style="color: black;"> If
you really don’t like something, take action. Don’t complain to others, get
involved. Join organizations. Volunteer for causes you support. Start a blog
where you assertively (politely and powerfully) express your opinions – but
make sure you follow your company guidelines, if you do. <br />
<br />
<b>6. Walk away.</b> And if you don’t want to do any of the above, you
can always avoid hostile or impolite discussions by removing yourself from the
conversation or taking a break from social media. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="background-color: transparent;"><a href="http://wwww.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides training and coaching on business etiquette and communication skills. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com. </span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-family: arial;">
</span><p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="yiv4831703987msonormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-15703596842783383302020-06-22T11:01:00.000-04:002020-06-22T11:01:00.872-04:00Looking for a job? 10 tips to help you succeed in a coronavirus world<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The world is falling apart, so why bother looking?</i></div>
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<i>I was just laid off. I’m too shocked to do anything.</i></div>
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<i>Why look for a new job? There is nothing but the virus out there.</i></div>
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If you have avoided looking for work during the coronavirus pandemic, you are not alone. As the comments above -- culled from my coaching sessions -- illustrate, many people have not started their job search, or are approaching it in a half-hearted<i> </i>way<i>.</i></div>
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I understand. The pandemic has really shaken the business world as millions of jobs have been lost. It is a difficult time to look for work, and it’s easy to think, “Why bother?”</div>
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But there are openings. Some businesses are hiring.</div>
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Earlier this month, LinkedIn stated that more than 180,000 people had recently been hired through its connections, and in May the United States added 2.5 million jobs. Do not give up. Job seekers who are persistent and determined are more likely to succeed. </div>
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Here are 10 suggestions to help you in your search:</div>
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<b>1. Update your resume and social-media sites.</b><i> </i>This should be among the first things you </div>
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do. Your resume may not be current, as you weren’t planning to be unemployed. Add any new jobs, promotions, activities, awards, or additional studies. There are lots of online resources that may help. Google “resume writing” and you will find numerous examples of ways to structure your information. Or hire a professional resume writer. You may need to create more than one resume, depending on the types of jobs you are seeking.</div>
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<b>2. View your search as a full-time job.</b> Since you are unemployed, you need to use the time you would have spent at your old job looking for a new one. Yes, I do mean 9 to 5! Of course, you can be kind to yourself and take a longer lunch break and a day off occasionally. But the bottom line is this: At the end of the day, you want to feel that you worked. (If you are taking odd jobs to help make ends meet, your day gets even more complicated.)</div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zbUUf_gkIOg/XvC9VKOGldI/AAAAAAAABGw/Av2nBS2xeEE5KhfRmfNs2HUH6g-evB1ZACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Job%2Bsearch%2Bschedule%2B1.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="801" data-original-width="619" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zbUUf_gkIOg/XvC9VKOGldI/AAAAAAAABGw/Av2nBS2xeEE5KhfRmfNs2HUH6g-evB1ZACLcBGAsYHQ/s200/Job%2Bsearch%2Bschedule%2B1.jpg" width="154" /></a></div>
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<i>3. </i><b>Have a quiet, dedicated work space.</b><i> </i>This is the place where you keep your job-search materials, and do your searching. If you have young children at home because of the pandemic, this may be harder to achieve. Get creative. One man I know took over half of the dining room table. <i> </i></div>
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<b>4. Create a daily work schedule.</b> List the activities you need to do. This makes it more likely you will actually do them. Some of these activities include:</div>
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--Checking online job sites, such as indeed.com or simplyhired.com</div>
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--Checking the websites of companies you want to work for – many companies list job openings </div>
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--Spending time on LinkedIn, applying for jobs, and connecting with your network</div>
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--Reading articles on the web about conducting a job search </div>
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--Taking an online class to enhance your skills</div>
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--Allowing time to exercise! Yes, build that into your schedule, too</div>
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<b>5. Respond to openings quickly.</b> You don’t want your application to get lost in the shuffle. Many people may apply, and you want your resume to be one of the first to arrive. This makes it much more likely to be reviewed. </div>
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<b>6. Stay in touch with your colleagues and network.</b><i> </i>Let people know you are looking. More people get jobs through networking than any other way. Your friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and friends of friends can’t help you unless they know you’re looking. </div>
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<b>7. Participate in your professional associations.</b><i> </i>Though you may not be able to network in person, you can still interact with other professionals online through virtual training, conferences, and networking events. For example, my son’s professional association recently held a<i> “Cocktails, Conversation, & Connections” </i>Zoom meeting.<i> </i></div>
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<b>8. Be prepared to interview via video conferencing.</b><i> </i>In addition to preparing answers to questions you think you may be asked, you need to prepare to present yourself professionally online. Know how to use the technology. Practice. Position yourself in front of a neat, uncluttered, and quiet setting. Be aware of what others will see behind you. Make sure there are no controversial objects in bookshelves or on the wall. Dress appropriately – as though you were being interviewed in person. Your location needs good lighting. You want to be seen clearly, without any shadows hiding your appearance. </div>
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<b>9. Use your college career center. </b><i> </i>Though most centers have suspended in-person meetings, they still provide many resources, including reviewing resumes, holding virtual workshops, and posting job openings. </div>
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<b>10. Be a resource for others.</b><i> </i>Let other job seekers know if you learn of openings that might be suitable for them. When you help others, they are more likely to help you. </div>
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<i> </i></div>
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Additional information on job-search activities
may be found in my book, <i><a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic">The Communication Clinic:99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes. </a></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.pachter.com/" style="color: #a1162f; text-decoration-line: none;">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on business etiquette, presentation skills, career advancement, professional presence, and business writing. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at Joyce@pachter.com. (www.pachter.com) </span>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-27028466181342944902020-04-18T16:21:00.002-04:002020-04-19T11:21:09.039-04:00Meeting online? Don’t become "Eye-roll Ruby" or "Angry Andy"<br />
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">With almost the entire business world
operating under the restrictions of a coronavirus pandemic, many of us are
becoming all too familiar with meetings conducted online instead of in a
conference room or office.</span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-b08nTb6P5Dw/Xpsrl69IAeI/AAAAAAAABDo/msbp58Wmk_AkXK0PpCRH524gSfSsoECEgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/panopto-zoom-meeting-sharing-integration.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="875" data-original-width="1600" height="108" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-b08nTb6P5Dw/Xpsrl69IAeI/AAAAAAAABDo/msbp58Wmk_AkXK0PpCRH524gSfSsoECEgCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/panopto-zoom-meeting-sharing-integration.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">But, as a woman I coached via Zoom recently
observed,</span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">“Since
your colleagues aren’t in the room with you, </span></i><i style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">it’s
easy to forget that they are still observing you!”</span></i></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Her comment</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">highlights a key pitfall about online meetings – not paying
attention to how others see you during a videoconference. </span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">This is especially
true if you are not accustomed to presenting yourself professionally online,
but now find yourself working from home and using videoconferencing apps to meet
with colleagues, bosses, customers, clients, vendors, or even friends and
family. It can lead to distracting behaviors that I’ve attributed to such
characters as Eye-roll Ruby, Angry Andy, and so on.</span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">These eight examples of
what <u>not</u> to do will help you to be mindful of how you are presenting
yourself when video chatting:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .25in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Too-close
<span style="background: white; color: black;">Cody.</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> We don’t want to see your nose
hairs! Position yourself far </span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">enough from the camera so you don’t show
a tight shot of your face – that is, from forehead to chin. In most instances, you
want to show your head, shoulders, and part of your chest. </span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="line-height: 105%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .25in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Who knew, Nell?</span></b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> Your background for a videoconference can be a simple wall
or a </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">section of a room in your home. Be aware of what others will
be able to see </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">behind you. <span style="background: white; color: black;">The paintings or
artwork on the wall, items on your tables, or books on your bookshelves will
reveal aspects of your personality that your colleagues may not know. For
example: Who knew Nell collected trumpets! This may be a good thing, as
colleagues will discover more about her – or they may learn way too much about
her! </span> </span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="line-height: 105%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">In
the dark, Daniel</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. Make
sure your location has good lighting. You want to be seen </span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">clearly, without any shadows hiding your
appearance. Be careful if you have a window behind you. If it is bright
outside, you will appear as a dark silhouette. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .25in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .25in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Interrupting Isabella</span></b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. These are unusual times. People know that kids, pets, or </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">grandparents may be roaming around your house during business
hours. Your dog coming up to you occasionally might be fine, but </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">being interrupted constantly by your
kids or pets will disrupt the meeting. <span style="background: white; color: black;">To the degree that you can, manage these
interruptions</span>.</span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="line-height: 105%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .25in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .25in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .25in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Eye-roll Ruby</span></b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. One woman I coached recently complained that her colleague
kept </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">rolling her eyes whenever my client spoke. Such behavior is distracting
and rude. And speaking of eyes, look at and </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">talk to the camera, not the image on the screen. <span style="background: white; color: black;">If are looking at
your computer screen, you may appear to be looking down. If you look directly
at the camera – usually positioned in the center of the frame above the screen
– you will appear to be looking the other person in the eye. </span> </span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="line-height: 105%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .25in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .25in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Angry Andy</span></b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. This is the person who has a very stern <i>Standard Facial
Expression</i>, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">which is what I call the expression your face assumes when
you are in neutral mode. Your SFE is what people see when you are looking at
them, listening to them, or just not talking. Many people have stern facial
expressions and don’t even realize it. What message is your face conveying about
you? (See my suggestion below; additional information about facial
expressions can be found in my book, <i><a href="http://bit.ly/BizEtiq">The Essentials of Business Etiquette</a></i>.)</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .25in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .25in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Gesturing George</span></b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. You don’t want to gesture too much. Waving your arms around
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">can become a distraction. Resist the urge to twist your hair,
play with rubber bands, or click your pen. These are all distractions that
make you appear nervous. Resting your head on your hand makes you look bored.
And, as many people know, crossing your arms can make you appear defensive or
“closed.”</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .25in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .25in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I’m still in PJs, Poppy</span></b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. One woman I coached via Zoom looked like she was </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">wearing her pajamas. Working from home is more casual than working
in the office, but not <i>that</i> casual! Match your clothing choice to the
purpose of the meeting. If you are seeing your CEO, dress more professionally.
If you are meeting with your team, you may want to dress more casually. But
remember, it’s still business. “Casual” does not mean sloppy. And yes, you do
need to wear the entire outfit, not just the top that shows above the table. You
never know when something might happen that requires you to stand up suddenly.
Need I say more? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msolistparagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal">
<b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Suggestion</span></b><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">: A practice session can help you to become aware of the image
you are conveying to others. Situate yourself in the same location you will use
for online meetings, and then connect with a friend to analyze how you appear
on camera – and make any adjustments necessary. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="yiv4179662382msonormal">
<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.pachter.com/" style="color: #a1162f; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pachter & Associates</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> provides seminars and coaching on business etiquette, presentation skills, career advancement, professional presence, and business writing. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at Joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com) </span></span></div>
<br />Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-54104252519682162952020-04-02T20:40:00.001-04:002020-04-02T20:40:47.360-04:00WHO MOVES? SIDEWALK ETIQUETTE IN A SOCIAL-DISTANCING WORLD<br />
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Etiquette rules for the sidewalk? </i>I know that
sounds strange, so let me explain. </span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A colleague recently called me and wanted some help. She said that
she had been out walking and saw a couple approaching her on the sidewalk. She
wanted to follow today’s social-distancing guidelines, and she realized that
the other people were going to be too close to her if everyone continued
walking straight. Her question: “Who should have moved over?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This question highlights an etiquette dilemma in our coronavirus-dominated
world —to ensure adequate space between people outdoors, who moves out of the
way when two or more people are sharing a walkway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: black;">This situation
may arise more frequently as people are being encouraged to exercise. </span>David Pogue, a
<span style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">correspondent
for the television show <i>Sunday Morning </i>on CBS News</span>, did a segment
this week on <u><a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-to-live-and-work-at-home-without-going-stir-crazy/">How to live AND work at home without going stir crazy</a></u>. His fifth
rule was “Go Outside.” His suggestion was to take walks with people who live
with you, but steer clear of others. </span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Obviously, etiquette concerns are nowhere near as critical as
getting needed masks and respirators to hospitals, but having answers for
day-to-day situations can help people to stay safe, and also give them a sense
of having some control in our uncertain world. </span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Below are guidelines to help you safely navigate sidewalks and
walkways shared with other people: </span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">1.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Pay
attention. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Notice
your surroundings and anticipate. If you are talking on the phone or texting,
it’s easy to become distracted and not notice someone coming your way. If your
view is obscured for any reason – such as when you are approaching a corner –
you may be unable to see someone walking directly toward you. Be aware of that
possibility, and proceed cautiously until you can see what’s ahead. You don’t
want to bump into people! </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dALpx-sB0Ds/XoaAyHT8GaI/AAAAAAAABDQ/jk5NAZQTggQCLb13d2QyK4U0aiDU3A92QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/walking-1361358.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="699" data-original-width="1198" height="116" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dALpx-sB0Ds/XoaAyHT8GaI/AAAAAAAABDQ/jk5NAZQTggQCLb13d2QyK4U0aiDU3A92QCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/walking-1361358.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">2. <b>Who moves?</b></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> If someone
is approaching and you realize you’ll be too close when passing each other,
what are you to do?<b> </b>Generally, it is the responsibility of
each walker to move to the right when passing so that there is at least six
feet between you. If the person approaching you is walking with a cane,
pushing a baby stroller, or struggling with agility issues, you are the one who
should move out of the way. Bottom line: Don’t stand on ceremony. If you
believe that someone will be too close to you, move over!<b> </b> </span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dALpx-sB0Ds/XoaAyHT8GaI/AAAAAAAABDQ/jk5NAZQTggQCLb13d2QyK4U0aiDU3A92QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/walking-1361358.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a></div>
<div class="yiv1363042820msonormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Walk single
file. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">If
you are walking side by side with someone – even if you are several feet apart
– go to single file when passing others. If you don’t, you put the person
approaching you in the awkward position of deciding whether to go around one of
you or to go between the two of you. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">4.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Don’t hog the
sidewalk. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">If
you block the walkway when you stop to chat with someone – from a safe
distance! – or to let your dog do his business, it’s your responsibility to
move aside and let other people pass.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">5.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Pass people
carefully. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">If
you want to pass someone, make your presence known. You can call out “behind
you” or “on your left” so you don’t startle the person. You then move to the
left, keeping your social distance. The other person can also move to the
right, making it easier for the person who wants to pass. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">6.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Greet others.
</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">People
can hear a “good morning” or see a wave from six feet away. Even though we are
social-distancing, we still want to be social. (See my blog on <i><a href="http://www.barbarapachtersblog.com/2020/03/greeting-others-in-social-distancing.html">Greeting Others In A Social-Distancing World</a></i>.) And remember, if someone says “hello”
to you, good manners require that you say “hello” back. <b> </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">7.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Wash your
hands when you return home. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">You don’t know what you might have touched while you were out.
Frequent hand-washing is high on the list of recommendations for fighting this
coronavirus. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Additional information about etiquette and your career can be found in Barbara Pachter's book, <a href="http://bit.ly/BizEtiq"><i>T</i><i>he Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success</i> </a>(McGraw Hill). Other books by Pachter include <i>The Power of Positive Confrontation</i> and <i>The Communication Clinic</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on business etiquette, presentation skills, career advancement, professional presence, and business writing. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at Joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141.</span></div>
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<br />Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-10539273987542033102020-03-20T06:44:00.001-04:002020-03-20T06:56:38.720-04:00GREETING OTHERS IN A SOCIAL-DISTANCING WORLD <span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12pt;">I taught people the correct way to shake hands in my etiquette classes for over 25 years.</span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;">Not anymore. </span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;">In a world of coronavirus, our ways of interacting
with others must change. The animated video of the </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hi9-5F2zW4">burning matches</a></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hi9-5F2zW4"> </a>by
Spanish graphic designer Juan Delcan illustrates how social distancing – staying
at least 6 feet away from everyone else – can help stop the spread of the
Covid-19 virus. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;">I love the handshake. It allows you to connect with
and touch someone in a non-sexual way that establishes a bond and an element of
trust. It promotes equality, too, as both men and women shake hands. But
there is no touching in a social-distancing world.</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;">Yet eliminating the handshake from our world does <u>not</u>
mean it’s time to stop connecting. Today, relating to others is more important
than ever, as many of us are working from home and feeling isolated from
colleagues and friends. </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S-8eJ6SFXwo/XnShAg3d4HI/AAAAAAAABC8/--xk0rO6w9IRM83EpKXM-qBT8GxxY0u3wCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/black%2Bman%2Bwaving49453944212_c28f5d95d1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="356" data-original-width="447" height="158" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S-8eJ6SFXwo/XnShAg3d4HI/AAAAAAAABC8/--xk0rO6w9IRM83EpKXM-qBT8GxxY0u3wCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/black%2Bman%2Bwaving49453944212_c28f5d95d1.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;">During this crisis, I encourage you to use other
greetings. In my international etiquette class, I teach that there are four key
greetings around the world. The two that involved touching clearly should not
be used: the handshake, and hugs and kisses. The other two are the bow, and the
<i>namaste</i> (<span style="background: white;">hands pressed together, palms
touching and fingers pointing upwards</span>, with a slight bow). Either of
these can be used to acknowledge others if you are taking a walk for exercise,
or video-chatting with colleagues or friends. </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;">You could also wave. Acknowledging someone with a
wave can go a long way in letting people know you are pleased to see them.
Plus, it’s important to smile. I know that these are tough times, and right now
it may not seem like there is a lot to smile about, but connecting with others
is one way we will get through this crisis. (In Italy, residents gathered on their
balconies to publicly praise and thank their medical caregivers, and then
joined in singing popular songs that echoed from building to building across
the city! It was such an uplifting sight, videos of it were shown around the
world.) </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12.0pt;">I don’t know when social distancing will end. Soon, I
hope. And when it does, I look forward to shaking your hand! </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Additional information about greetings and your career can be found in my book, <i>The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success</i> (McGraw Hill). </div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on business etiquette, presentation skills, professional presence and business writing. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at Joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. </span></div>
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<br />Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-73958949099915475692019-10-06T06:56:00.000-04:002019-10-06T06:56:05.381-04:00Don’t Kill Your Career With Your Fork<i>My girlfriend showed me how to use my utensils, but I’m not sure she is correct. I have a job interview at a fancy restaurant coming up. Help. </i><br />
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<i>My colleague never puts his knife down when eating. Is that correct?</i><br />
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<i>I read that there is a “finished position” for utensils. What is that? </i><br />
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I have received a number of questions about correct behavior during a business meal, especially concerning the use of utensils.<br />
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People can get nervous when dining for business. And with good reason. You don’t want to blow a deal or a job offer based on your dining manners. To help people in my corporate classes remember what <u>not</u> to do with their utensils, I created these four examples:<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xXic-aNndZQ/XZnGyawvQ8I/AAAAAAAABCA/rqOSHl37eZY-3JyTwnGaVUO4kqWE9b2NACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Knife%2Ban%2Bdfork%2Bphoto-1503197553955-b4eafae3e08e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="932" data-original-width="1295" height="143" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xXic-aNndZQ/XZnGyawvQ8I/AAAAAAAABCA/rqOSHl37eZY-3JyTwnGaVUO4kqWE9b2NACLcBGAsYHQ/s200/Knife%2Ban%2Bdfork%2Bphoto-1503197553955-b4eafae3e08e.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>1. Waving William:</b> You wave your hands around with your utensils in them when you are talking at the table. Beware – the food on the utensils may go flying toward your neighbor! It’s best not to do much gesturing at all while you are dining, and never with a utensil in hand.<br />
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<b>2. Finger-Pusher Fran:</b> You want to eat every last bite, so you use your finger to help push food onto your fork. The days of the “clean plate club” are over. If you can’t get the food onto your fork without using your finger, leave it on the plate. Or, eat Continental style. In this style, the knife is used to push food onto the back of the fork.<br />
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<b>3. Pitchfork Pete:</b> You make a fist around your fork when cutting your meat. You look like you are holding a pitchfork! You should hold a fork with the handle inside the palm of your hand, and use your thumb and index finger to manipulate it.<br />
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<b>4. Split-Personality Susan:</b> You employ both the American and Continental styles of using utensils during one meal. When eating in the American style, you cut your meat using both knife and fork, then place your knife at the top of the plate and switch the fork to the dominant hand to eat. When eating in the Continental style, you still cut your food with both knife and fork, but then you eat the meal without putting the knife down or switching the fork to the opposite hand. As mentioned above, you use the knife to guide food onto the back of the fork. It’s generally best to use just one style.<br />
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<b>Other Suggestions for Your Utensils:</b><br />
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• <b>Do not use your knife to cut your bread rolls.</b> Break your roll in half, then tear off one piece at a time, and butter each piece as you are ready to eat it.<br />
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• <b>Place your knife and fork in the rest position </b>(knife on top of plate, fork across middle of plate) to let the waiter know you are resting but not done with your meal. Use the finished position (knife and fork together diagonally across the plate, knife on top) to indicate that you have finished eating.<br />
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Additional information about business meals and your career can be found in my book, <a href="http://bit.ly/BizEtiq"><i>The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success</i> </a>(McGraw Hill).<br />
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<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on business etiquette, presentation skills, professional presence and business writing. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141.<br />
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Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-6788947851980708092019-09-15T10:53:00.003-04:002019-09-15T10:53:55.017-04:00Salutations are NOT required in emails! Is the title of this blog a true or false statement? <br />
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If you said “true,” you are correct. Email doesn’t technically require a salutation as it is considered to be memo format. (This is different from a business letter, which <u>does </u>require a salutation.)<br />
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When email first appeared, many people did not use salutations. Eventually, people started adding salutations to seem friendlier, and to soften the tone of their writings.<br />
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Although salutations are not required, they are highly recommended. This is especially true when you are writing an email to someone for the first time, writing the first email in what is likely to become a string, or dealing with a difficult or awkward situation. <br />
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But how should you address the person to whom you are writing? Since you don’t want to offend someone with your choice of salutation, here are five suggestions:<br />
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<b>1. Spell the recipient’s name correctly.</b> Let me repeat this: <i>Spell the recipient’s name correctly.</i> It may not bother you, but I want to impress upon you that many people are insulted if their name is misspelled. Check for the correct spelling in the person’s signature block. Copy and paste the name to make sure you are spelling it correctly. Checking the “To:” line is also a good idea, as people’s first and/or last names are often in their email addresses.<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8SsIUG-pF1s/XX5N2xHN9AI/AAAAAAAABBs/qgu0E1JB_DgDI8joc-rXhB8vv1B2cdozgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/man%2Bat%2Bcomputer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8SsIUG-pF1s/XX5N2xHN9AI/AAAAAAAABBs/qgu0E1JB_DgDI8joc-rXhB8vv1B2cdozgCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/man%2Bat%2Bcomputer.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>2. Don’t shorten a person’s name or use a nickname unless you know it is okay. </b>Use the person’s full name (“Hi, Jacob”) unless you know it is okay to use the shortened version (Jake). My name is Barbara, but please don’t start your emails to me using “Hi Barb.” (And the only people who may refer to me as Babz are my son and his friends!)<br />
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<b>3. Know when to stop using a salutation. </b>After two or three emails have gone back and forth on the same email string, the salutations can be dropped.<br />
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<b>4. Use a greeting.</b> There is a hierarchy of greetings, from informal to formal, and you should match the salutation to the relationship you have with the recipient. The hierarchy follows this format:<br />
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<i> Hi Anna, / Hello Julianna, / Dear Justin, / Dear Mr. Jones,</i><br />
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If the person you are writing to is a colleague, “Hi Anna,” should be fine. If you don’t know the person, or the person has significantly higher rank than you have, you may want to use the more formal greeting: “Dear Justin,” or “Dear Mr. Jones.”<br />
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<i>Hey </i>is a very informal salutation (“Hey Josh,”), and generally should not be used in the workplace. Opening with <i>Yo </i>is definitely not okay, no matter how informal your relationship with the recipient. Use <i>Hi</i> or <i>Hello </i>instead.<br />
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<b>5. Avoid “Dear Sir/Ms.”</b> This salutation tells your reader that you have no idea who that person is. Why then should the reader be interested in what you have to say?<br />
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Additional information on business writing and emails can be found in my book, <i>T<a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic">he Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes. </a></i><br />
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<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates </a>provides seminars and coaching on business writing, communication, presentation skills and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com)<br />
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Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-61308948984158593452019-09-08T21:05:00.000-04:002019-09-08T21:05:36.414-04:00Imperfect Writing for Perfect Results<i>I write a couple of sentences and then delete them. Write a few more and delete them. It’s a constant, incredibly annoying process.</i><br />
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<i>I always have to rewrite. Is there something wrong with me?</i><br />
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<i>I was afraid to apply for a new position because it involved a lot of writing. </i><br />
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The comments above, from participants in my writing seminars, illustrate the frustration business people often feel when tackling writing assignments. But it’s not just participants in such classes who suffer from fear of writing. Putting pen to paper – or fingers to keyboard – can be daunting for many people.<br />
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I believe that, to a large degree, the frustration comes from people trying to create a perfect piece of writing the first time they sit down to do an assignment, whether it’s a business email or a complicated report. They think that what they type should not need any correcting or rewriting.<br />
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They are wrong.<br />
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Creating an imperfect piece of writing – a draft – is part of the normal process of writing. Yes, I said normal.<br />
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Once you have a draft, you can set about revising it. Most people find it easier to correct their writing than to create the exact wording they want the first time they try. Many well-known people, including professional writers, have expressed their understanding of the importance of writing… and rewriting.<br />
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<i>• There is no great writing, only great rewriting. – the late Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis</i><br />
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<i>• I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. – author James Michener</i><br />
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I describe the making of a draft as “open writing.” This term is easy to remember, as you basically open yourself up and let the words flow. Here are six guidelines to help you with open writing:<br />
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<b>1. Relax.</b> People have a tendency to get nervous and then agonize over their writing assignments. Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect… yet. One seminar participant told me that once the pressure was off to create a perfect document on her first attempt, she was able to write.<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mk33fPUPgPw/XXWjq3DUIfI/AAAAAAAABBU/Duh8BuwY8pIPvURM3x-ZEfitrCWa3UeYQCLcBGAs/s1600/blank%2Bcomputer%2Bscreen-2503129_960_720.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="701" data-original-width="960" height="145" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mk33fPUPgPw/XXWjq3DUIfI/AAAAAAAABBU/Duh8BuwY8pIPvURM3x-ZEfitrCWa3UeYQCLcBGAs/s200/blank%2Bcomputer%2Bscreen-2503129_960_720.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>2. Put the email address in last.</b> If you are using open writing in an email, you don’t want to send the email before you have revised it, so leave the “To” line blank until you are satisfied with your message. If you are responding to an email, erase the address and add it when you are finished. (Additional suggestions on email can be found in my book, <i><a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic">The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes,</a></i> McGraw Hill, 2017.)<br />
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<b>3. Write the way you speak.</b> Most of us have no difficulty speaking coherently and clearly. When you write the way you speak, you are writing in a conversational tone, which helps you connect with your reader. Another advantage is that this approach often helps you to write quickly.<br />
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<b>4. Don't stop writing.</b> No crossing out or back-spacing. You don't want to disrupt the flow of your thoughts. If you find yourself going off in the wrong direction, write yourself out of it. You will rearrange your wording later. Computers make it very easy to cut-and-paste. (This term survives from a time when writers or editors revising drafts written on typewriters would literally cut up their written paragraphs and paste them in the order they preferred. See how much easier we have it!)<br />
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<b>5. Set a time limit.</b> When you sit down to write, allocate a certain amount of time. It doesn't need to be a lot of time. In my classes, my writing assignments are only five minutes in duration, but all the participants write between half a page and one and a half pages. That’s a lot of writing in just a few minutes. After my students have finished their open-writing assignments, I tell them that in the past, most of them probably stared at a blank computer screen for longer than five minutes. Now consider how much they’ve been able to write in the same time in class. That is when the light bulb usually goes on for them, and they realize the value of open writing.<br />
<br />
<b>6. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar… for now.</b> You will correct your grammar and spelling before you hit the send button or mail that document. For now, you just want to write.<br />
<br />
Once you have followed these six steps, you are <u>not </u>done. Let me say that again: You are not done. Now it is time to revise your writings – but now you have something to work on, instead of a blank screen.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on business writing, <br />
communication, career development, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com) <br />
<br />Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-2602632599844322422019-08-18T10:41:00.000-04:002019-08-18T10:41:26.948-04:00Do Not Use Contractions. (Don’t Worry, I Didn’t Mean It!)During a conversation with a colleague, I mentioned that my next blog was going to be on contractions. Most of her response I can’t repeat, but basically she said that when she was growing up, her teachers drilled into her brain that she should never use contractions in her writings. They were too informal and sloppy, her teachers maintained.<br />
<br />
Many people in my writing seminars tell me similar stories.<br />
<br />
A contraction, according to the <i>Gregg Reference Manual</i>, a respected writing resource, is “a shortened form of a word or phrase in which an apostrophe indicates the omitted letters or words: for example, <i>don’t</i> for<i> do not</i>.”<br />
<br />
My response to my colleague and to the participants in my seminars is always the same: <i>"Why can't we use contractions? We use them when we speak, so why isn't it okay to write with them?”</i><br />
<br />
A primary goal of writing is to connect with your reader, and your choice of words helps to make that connection. There aren't any non-verbal clues to help make your point when you email someone – the reader doesn't see the smile on your face or hear the friendly tone of your voice. (Yes, I know there are emoticons, but I do not encourage their use in business writing.)<br />
<br />
Using contractions helps you to convey a conversational tone. It makes the communication sound more personal and friendly, and less like a directive. Listen to the difference: “Let's go to the conference on Monday,” or, “Let us go to the conference on Monday.” Don’t you think the second version sounds rather stilted?<br />
<br />
Here are my suggestions for using contractions successfully in business writing:<br />
<br />
<b>1. Think about your use of contractions. </b>It may not be first on your list of business concerns, but the quality of your writing is important. Do you use contractions? One of my interns had the courage to point out to me that I used contractions a lot. I hadn't realized just how much until she said something. I really valued that feedback.<br />
<br />
<b>2. Do not overuse them. </b> Just because you can use contractions in your writing in today's business world, doesn't mean you should always use them. Read your documents out loud to hear how your use of contractions sounds. If your writings sound choppy, chances are you are using too many contractions.<br />
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<b>3. Avoid excessively casual contractions. </b>Some contractions sound sloppy. For example: "You'd" for "you would," or “she’s” for “she has.” I recommend not using them in business writing. And please, don’t ever be tempted by double contractions, such as "shouldn’t’ve" for "should not have."<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iTzPq2bpMz4/U7HhGN8rv3I/AAAAAAAAAWg/cJfHSlRye9E/s1600/contraction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iTzPq2bpMz4/U7HhGN8rv3I/AAAAAAAAAWg/cJfHSlRye9E/s1600/contraction.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>4. Know what your boss prefers. </b>If your boss does not want you to use contractions, don't! This is not (isn't) rocket science, and is not worth fighting over.<br />
<br />
<b>5. Understand the difference between it's and its. </b>A common mistake involves the difference between "it's" – which is the contraction for "it is" – and the possessive "its." The way to remember the difference between them is that the apostrophe in "it's" means something is missing. If you aren’t sure, read your sentence aloud and then substitute the non-contraction form (in this case, “it is”) to see whether it still makes sense. (<i>It’s time to put the pencil in its case, </i>for example. If you had an erroneous apostrophe in the second<i> its</i>, the sentence wouldn’t make sense.) People often use the wrong form in their writings, and others love to point out their mistakes. Don't give them the opportunity!<br />
<br />
Your use of contractions may not seem like a big deal, but it is one of the many little things that can impact your writings, and therefore worthy of your attention. Additional information on business writing can be found in my book, <a href="https://www.blogger.com/"><i><span id="goog_2012185088"></span>The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes</i><i> <span id="goog_2012185089"></span></i></a>(McGraw Hill).<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates </a>provides training and coaching on business writing and communication. For more information, contact Joyce Hoff at 856.751.6141 or joyce@pachter.com.<br />
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Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-34632854907984125042019-07-21T06:35:00.000-04:002019-08-01T06:28:46.834-04:00Use These Two Communication Secrets to Get What You WantA mother said to her three-year-old daughter, <i>“When you get a chance, can you please clean your room?”</i><br />
<br />
The young girl responded, <i>“Mom, no, I'm not gonna get a chance.”</i><br />
<br />
A colleague told me this story about her daughter, and after I stopped laughing, I had to tell her that she hadn't used a little-recognized, yet powerful communication tool. Since she had hired me to teach assertiveness for her organization, I felt comfortable giving her this feedback.<br />
<br />
Her stumbling block? My colleague had used a question instead of a direct assertive statement. Using a question (<i>Can you please clean your room?</i>) allows the other person to make the choice, and you may not get what you want. You are being less direct.<br />
<br />
Using a direct statement, such as <i>“Sweetie, I want you to clean your room before lunch,”</i> makes it very clear what you expect, and as a result you are more likely to get it. Of course, there are no guarantees with three-year-olds, but even with children, you have a better chance of getting what you want when you are direct.<br />
<br />
This “secret” can also work in the workplace. Listen to the difference: <i>“Boss, I would like to go to the conference next week,”</i> versus <i>“Boss, may I go to the conference?”</i> Both are polite, but which one sounds more likely to give the speaker what she wants? The direct statement usually has more success.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b4dxkFsa-Tc/U2DXoD8WuPI/AAAAAAAAAT0/fisHMYYbmKY/s1600/communicate-focus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="138" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b4dxkFsa-Tc/U2DXoD8WuPI/AAAAAAAAAT0/fisHMYYbmKY/s1600/communicate-focus.jpg" width="200" /></a>The second communication secret was summed up in Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back. In that movie, Yoda, the Jedi Master, proclaims: <i>"Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." </i><br />
<br />
Be cautious with the use of the word “try,” if you want others to be accountable for their action or inaction. If you say to your employee, <i>“Please try to meet the deadline,”</i> he or she can always say later, <i>“Well, I tried, but something else came up.”</i><br />
<br />
You can be polite and still use a straightforward statement, such as, <i>“I need you to meet the deadline.”</i> As mentioned above, when you are direct, you are more likely to get what you want.<br />
<br />
Monitor yourself over the next few days. Is your word choice preventing you from getting what you want?<br />
<br />
For additional tips on effective communication, check out my book, <i><a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic">The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes. </a> </i><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Barbara Pachter</a> provides training and coaching on communication and business etiquette. For more information, contact Joyce Hoff at 856.751.6141 or joyce@pachter.com.<br />
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Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-91227425365820077462019-05-21T06:54:00.000-04:002019-05-21T07:05:50.965-04:00What’s in a title? A lot! Six tips to avoid undermining women <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;">
<b><span style="font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Why are female doctors introduced by first name while men are called ‘Doctor’?</span></i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
This provocative headline was on a Washington Post article over a year ago that featured two women physicians at the Mayo Clinic who had noticed that their male colleagues were usually introduced at conferences as “Doctor So-and-so.” But the two women and other female doctors were often introduced by their first names, when the person introducing them was a man.</span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Is this a big deal? Yes, I believe it is. And it is still happening. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">On a recent weekend I was on a plane where the captain introduced himself to the passengers this way: “This is Captain Jones. And I’m assisted today by Erica.” It seemed clear from his introduction that “Erica” was the first officer on the flight, or the co-pilot. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Atg9cyJhrRM/XOPXGDTM4YI/AAAAAAAABAI/BrlizcZZHy0eH16SxsBzLJSWDYQNI3PMwCLcBGAs/s1600/women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="269" data-original-width="500" height="107" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Atg9cyJhrRM/XOPXGDTM4YI/AAAAAAAABAI/BrlizcZZHy0eH16SxsBzLJSWDYQNI3PMwCLcBGAs/s200/women.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How people address you and what you call yourself really do matter. Names – and titles – have power. Names and titles may confer dignity, or take it away. They influence how you are perceived, and whether people take you seriously.<br />
<br />Though unequal introductions may not be on the same level as eliminating sexual harassment or the gender pay-gap, they do constitute a communication concern with negative implications for women. Denying professionals the prestige that a title conveys is a subtle way of undermining them, even if it is unintentional.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Which of these people would you take more seriously, or believe was more competent: “Dr. Tom Jones” or “Sally Smith”? It seems obvious that it would be the person with the title, because that testifies to his training and professionalism.<br />
<br />Both men and women can benefit from the following suggestions about names and titles. They will help you to stop negatively influencing others’ perceptions of women, even inadvertently. These tips also apply when you are writing emails.<br />
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<b>1. Use a woman’s title.</b> Some organizations are very informal with names, but if professional titles are typically used in your organization, refer to women by theirs, such as Dr. (Sally) Jones.<br />
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<b>2. Be consistent with your use of titles.</b> Use professional titles equally for both men and women. If you are mentioning a man by his title, such as Doctor Jones or Professor Smith, refer to a woman the same way. This is valid whether you are giving a speaker introduction, introducing someone to other people at the office or in social situations, or simply mentioning people in informal discussions.<br />
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<b>3. Refer to friends and colleagues by their titles when in business settings. </b>You may have a great relationship with Dr. Jones and use her first name when you are together. When you are with other people, however, you should refer to her by her title. You are recognizing her achievement in front of others. If you do not do this, you are establishing a norm that tells people it’s okay for them to call her by her first name. And that may not be the case. (This also applies to men.) <br />
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<b>4. Be consistent with the honorific ‘Mr.’ and ‘Ms.’</b> This is similar to the second item. If you say or write, “Mr. Williams,” do the same for the woman, “Ms. Jones.” This conveys a level of respect for both parties. You do not want to say something like, “Mr. Williams and Karen went to the meeting.” In an informal setting you might also use first names for both, such as “Tom and Karen went to the meeting.” <br />
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<b>5. Refer to women in the workplace as ‘women.’</b> Businessmen aren’t referred to as boys; businesswomen shouldn’t be referred to as girls. The words “girls” and “boys” indicate children. I know, I know, you are going to say that it’s intended as a compliment, or it’s a way of expressing camaraderie, as in “girls’ night out” or “the girls I work with in the office.” But ultimately it fosters a less-professional image for women. <br />
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<b>6. Do not refer to a woman by a nickname or shorter form of her first name —unless you are asked to do so.</b> Children are often called by nicknames. And many shortened names do not have the same standing as full names. My name is Barbara. Do not call me “Barb,” and definitely not “Barbie.” This situation can be tricky. Sometimes people, especially high-power people, will use their nicknames to seem friendly and more approachable. Christine Todd Whitman, the first woman governor of New Jersey and former head of the EPA, will often refer to herself as Christie Whitman. (Her current website is <u><a href="http://www.christiewhitman.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;">www.christiewhitman.com</span></a></u>.) <br />
<br />Men also can be influenced by shortened names. According to a story about basketball legend Michael Jordan on the CBS show <i>60 Minutes</i> some years ago, he went from being called “Mike Jordan” to “Michael Jordan” after he scored the winning basket in the 1982 NCAA championship game. <br />
<br />Start paying attention to your word choices. Though you may not be doing everything mentioned here, you may be surprised at how you refer to women. Additional information on communication can be found in my book, <a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic"><i>The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes.</i></a><br />
<br />I post regularly on communication and etiquette. We can connect via <u><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/barbarapachter/" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;">LinkedIn</span></a></u>, <u><a href="https://twitter.com/barbarapachter" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;">Twitter</span></a></u>, <u><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pachtertraining" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;">Facebook</span></a></u>, and my website: <u><a href="https://www.pachter.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;">www.pachter.com</span></a></u><br />
<br />About: <b>Barbara Pachter </b>is an internationally renowned business etiquette and communications speaker, coach and author of 11 business books. She helps individuals communicate more effectively and enhance their professional presence. (<u><a href="mailto:bpachter@pachter.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;">bpachter@pachter.com</span></a></u>) </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 18.0pt;"></span></b>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-7124656829166337502019-03-24T09:03:00.000-04:002019-03-24T09:03:16.547-04:006 Tips To Enhance Your Presentation Skills…And Build Your Confidence <i>"I just spoke to 200 people; I can do anything!”</i><br />
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This comment was from a woman I had coached on presentation skills. She had been nervous about speaking during a fund-raising luncheon for her favorite charity, but felt “on top of the world” after giving the presentation.<br />
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She was experiencing one of the positive consequences of giving an effective speech – her confidence level increased considerably, and she felt good about herself.<br />
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This woman was an accomplished professional and needed only a few suggestions to fine-tune her skills. But anyone can benefit from some of the tips that I gave her. Why not try them out before your next presentation? You may be surprised at how good you feel about yourself as a result. <br />
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<b>1. Practice out loud.</b> You want to hear how your presentation sounds. Saying it in your head isn’t good enough. Is it structured logically? Are you using transitions between points? Are the stories complete? Does the presentation make sense? Saying it aloud, and hearing the speech as your audience will hear it, helps to clarify any areas that need work.<br />
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<b>2. Mingle before the presentation.</b> When you can, go up to people, shake hands, introduce yourself, and welcome individuals to the presentation. This rapport-building helps people connect with you, and allows you to feel more comfortable with them once you are in front of the group.<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XlA3zy_EUoA/XJd-c9do6rI/AAAAAAAAA_c/4fjDH70cUIwTzA1YphzeLlyVzdAoHdTxgCEwYBhgL/s1600/1%2Bbusiness-people-in-the-meeting-10046981.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="99" data-original-width="150" height="131" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XlA3zy_EUoA/XJd-c9do6rI/AAAAAAAAA_c/4fjDH70cUIwTzA1YphzeLlyVzdAoHdTxgCEwYBhgL/s200/1%2Bbusiness-people-in-the-meeting-10046981.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>3. Ask yourself: Does the audience know I am nervous?</b> If you are not verbally or nonverbally conveying your nervousness to the audience, the people you are addressing will not know. And if the audience doesn’t know you’re nervous, why waste your energy being nervous? Interesting concept… and it has helped a lot of people overcome their nervousness.<br />
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<b>4. Look at people.</b> When you make eye contact with members of your audience, you appear confident and in control of the presentation and your audience. Presenters get nervous and tend to avoid looking at the people they are addressing. Make sure you look at everyone. People have a tendency to look only at the people who smile at them (and we do love these people!), but you don’t want to miss connecting with anyone. <br />
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<b>5. Manage the questions.</b> In the beginning of your talk, let people know when you will be taking questions. You can often direct people to ask questions on a specific topic by saying, “What questions do you have about X?” Repeat each question before you answer it. This gives you a few seconds to compose your thoughts before you speak. You can also rephrase the question to eliminate any negativity in it. <br />
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<b>6. Take the applause.</b> I am sure you have seen speakers who have almost run off the stage at the conclusion of a presentation, or they may say something like, “Whew, glad that is over!” Do not do this. You should acknowledge the applause, then walk off the stage or go back to your seat with your head held high.<br />
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Additional suggestions on presentation skills can be found in my book, <i><a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic">The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes.</a></i><br />
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<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides training and coaching on prese<span style="text-align: center;">ntation skills and communication. For more information contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141.</span><br />
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Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-52475253988358653332019-03-03T06:12:00.000-05:002019-03-03T06:12:47.806-05:006 Tips To Remember When Evaluating Feedback What do these three examples have in common?<br />
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<i>• A young woman was told by an instructor that her giggle during her presentation was cute, and fit her personality.</i><br />
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<i> • A woman’s husband, after she asked him if her skirt was too short for an important business meeting, responded “No, your legs look great. Keep it short!”</i><br />
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<i> • A young man was told by a colleague to chew gum to help him overcome his nervousness when presenting.</i><br />
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I believe the above business professionals all received feedback that was flawed.<br />
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It is important to receive feedback, because it helps us to grow. After numerous years of giving seminars, I still pay attention to the comments I receive from my participants. But how do you decide which suggestions really can help you to grow as a professional, and which ones to ignore? I suggest asking yourself these 6 questions:<br />
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<b>1. Who is giving the feedback?</b> Is the person an expert? If so, the feedback is a gift, and I would seriously consider following the person’s suggestions. If the person is not an expert, I would put the comments on the back burner. But remember, when customers make suggestions, it is a good idea to implement them where appropriate.<br />
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<b>2. Do you perceive a pattern in the feedback you get?</b> A solitary criticism or observation may be just one person’s opinion, but if you notice a lot of similar comments, chances are there is some truth to the feedback – positive or negative.<br />
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<b>3. Have you learned as much as you can about the comment?</b> Engage with the person giving the feedback. You could say, “Tell me more” to gain additional information. Or, you can paraphrase what you have heard. Saying something like, “You’re suggesting that…” and putting the feedback into your own words will ensure that you have grasped the person’s points. The woman who was told it was okay to giggle could have asked, “Are you saying that it will be professional for me to giggle in the business world?” (The answer is no.)<br />
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<b>4. Is the feedback emphasizing your sexuality?</b> Workplace feedback should address your competency, not your sexuality. The woman’s husband in my example was flattering his wife, but not taking into consideration her corporate environment. He didn’t understand that “sexy is not a corporate look.” He’s not alone. Based on the attire of some newscasters, or the actors portraying professionals on television shows, it’s not surprising that many people come to believe that it is okay to dress provocatively in business situations. It isn’t.<br />
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<b>5. Have you checked with other seasoned and successful professionals?</b> The young man who was told to chew gum did check with another professional, who pointed out that the gum chewing would create another problem – his audience would be distracted. She then gave him other suggestions to overcome his nervousness, such as practicing out loud and telling yourself positive things. (Additional suggestions on presentation skills can be found in my book: <i><a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic">The Communication Clinic.</a></i>) <br />
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<b>6. Have you done research on your own?</b> Read books on the topic. Read articles on the web. The internet makes it very easy to research any topic. Just make sure the authors of the articles are experts in whatever topic you are researching.<br />
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<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides training and coaching on business etiquette, presentation skills and communication. For more information, contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141.<br />
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Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-82978608586300365182019-02-12T08:15:00.000-05:002023-02-03T13:59:40.069-05:00Toot Your Own Horn<i>The woman was well educated, well groomed, and spoke like a professional. Yet when asked about herself, she did not speak of her accomplishments, and she was very self-deprecating. When asked why, she responded, “I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging.” </i><br /><br />Many people don’t talk about or post their accomplishments, or they discount themselves and their achievements with statements like “Oh, what I did was no big deal.” When you put yourself down, you make it easy to others not to take you or your work seriously. <br /><br />In the business world, you can limit your chances of success when others don’t know what you do or what you have accomplished. Skillful self-promotion is a business strength. You don’t want to sound like a braggart, but you do want to highlight your accomplishments, <br /><br />Here are eight suggestions for promoting yourself successfully without being off-putting: <br /><br /><b>1. Be visible.</b> Get involved at your company. Join any company clubs or activities that interest you. Use the work gym, if there is one. Volunteer for assignments. Offer to make presentations, and volunteer to train others. If possible, write articles for your company publications. Run for office in your professional and community organizations. <br /><br /><b>2. Enter competitions and apply for awards.</b> A lot of people avoid doing this—they say it’s too self-serving. Yet, winning awards is a way for people who know you, but especially those who don’t know you, to find out about your talents. It builds your credibility. And make sure you promote your successes. For instance, my selection as one of the Best 50 Women in Business in New Jersey by NJBIZ Magazine was highlighted on my website.<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gJxnfbtfarw/XGLFaKozIvI/AAAAAAAAA-Y/_Qkm2HdOJQgEeE0MVHqsHmVaAIH7Q1YnQCEwYBhgL/s1600/feast-of-trumpets_472_314_80.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="314" data-original-width="472" height="132" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gJxnfbtfarw/XGLFaKozIvI/AAAAAAAAA-Y/_Qkm2HdOJQgEeE0MVHqsHmVaAIH7Q1YnQCEwYBhgL/s200/feast-of-trumpets_472_314_80.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>3. Post your accomplishments on your social-media sites</b>. However, be careful not to mention the same accomplishment over and over. You can overdo it and make yourself sound like a braggart. There is a balance. You must speak of other things, not just about what you do well. This also can apply to forwarding good news about your team or your work to others via email.<br />
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<b>4. Have a prepared self-introduction.</b> You may find yourself in situations in which you have to introduce yourself. Being prepared will allow you to be comfortable speaking about yourself. Make sure you say your first and last name and add a few brief comments about yourself. <br /><br /><b>5. When asked, do tell.</b> If someone asks you how you are doing at work, it is your opportunity to mention any new accomplishments. Without going into too much detail, tell the person about any recent promotions, unique projects, additional responsibilities, and so on. <br /><br /><b>6. Weave your accomplishments into conversation, when appropriate.</b> For example, when I talk in seminars about how men tend to interrupt more than women during meetings, I mention comments from my seminar participants in Oman, in the Middle East. These remarks add to the discussion, and they also highlight my international experience. <br /><br /><b>7. Use comparisons.</b> I once coached a manager on how to use her experience preparing for the Boston Marathon as a way to answer questions about how she would prepare for a company’s market expansion. The comparisons were legitimate and helpful to her audience – and, of course, the higher-ups were quite impressed by the fact that she ran a marathon.<br /><br /><b>8. Speak well of others. </b>You appear gracious when you speak of other peoples’ accomplishments, not just your own.<b></b><br />
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<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on career development, business etiquette, and communication. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com) Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-29087678644210531792019-01-22T06:16:00.000-05:002019-01-22T06:16:01.955-05:00Saying Goodbye: Suggestions for Closing Your Emails <i>If customers include a closing in their emails, it indicates to me that they are friendly, and so I will do their work first. </i><br />
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A woman in one of my writing classes made the above comment when we were discussing how to end an email. Others joined in and added that they liked seeing closings in emails they received.<br />
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I agree. Emails that simply end without some kind of closing can seem too abrupt. <br />
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During my classes, numerous questions surface about which closing is appropriate in our casual workplace. Deciding what to use can be confusing. When email first appeared in the workplace, salutations or closings were rarely used. Over time, we have added both to our emails. Though there has been some discussion in the media about whether we need to use closings, in my experience, the majority of people want to keep them.<br />
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I encourage businesspeople to use closings. Here are my six suggestions:<br />
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<b>1. If you start with a salutation, end with a closing.</b> It provides balance to the email. The correct punctuation after the closing is a comma.<br />
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<b>2. Match the closing to the salutation.</b> If you use an informal salutation, such as “Hi Amanda” or “Hello Gavin,” use “Regards,” “Best,” “Best regards,” or “Thanks” to close. If you use a more formal salutation, such as “Dear Ms. Jones,” use “Sincerely” or “Sincerely yours.” Only the first word of the closing is capitalized.<br />
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<b>3. </b><b>End with a “closing statement.”</b> Since closings are more relaxed in emails than in letters, you can use a brief statement as your closing, such as “See you at the meeting” or “Thanks for your help.”<br />
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<b>4. With no disrespect intended, avoid using ‘Respectfully.’ </b> This very formal closing is usually reserved for government officials and clergy. Another closing to avoid is “Faithfully yours.” This wording comes from British English, and a woman from India who was in my class said that she was advised very quickly by her boss not to use that closing in the U.S. <br />
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<b>5. Tell people what you want to be called.</b> After the closing, on the next line, type your name the way you want to be addressed. If you want to be called “Mike” instead of “Michael,” you should sign “Mike.” <br />
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<b>6. Once emails become a back-and-forth conversation, you can drop the closing.</b> It begins to sound repetitious and somewhat silly if you have a long string of emails all proclaiming, “Best regards, Mike.” Additional information on emails can be found in my book <i><a href="http://bit.ly/BizEtiqhttp://bit.ly/BizEtiq">The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat and Tweet Your Way to Success</a>.</i><br />
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<a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on business writing, professional presence, etiquette and communication. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com)Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-39761878445927917262019-01-07T15:01:00.002-05:002019-01-07T15:01:59.134-05:00New Year’s Resolutions To Improve Your Communication Skills<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It’s that time of year again – the time to make New Year’s resolutions. But instead of just going the traditional route – pledging to join a gym to work off holiday excesses – why not opt to give your career a boost as well? Resolve to improve your communication skills.<br /><br />Yes, you read that last sentence correctly! How you communicate with others—whether in person, in writing, or online—has a tremendous impact on your career. It affects every aspect of your working life, no matter how good your specialized skills are in your particular field.<br /><br />For the coming year, make these communication resolutions to enhance your career:<br /><br /><b>1. Resolve to keep your phone off the table when meeting with someone</b>. Having your phone visible tells the other person, “I am so ready to drop you and connect with someone else.” It’s important to give people your full attention.<br /><br /><b>2. Take a presentation skills class</b>. Work on becoming a better presenter. You need to get your point across. And if you do so effectively, not only does your audience gain information, but you look good.<br /><br /><b>3. Use “reply all” only when it is necessary for everyone on the list to see the email</b>. In my writing classes, many participants say they really dislike receiving unnecessary emails. If you don’t want to receive unwanted emails, you need to stop overusing “reply all,” also.<br /><br /><b>4. Be smart with social media.</b> Don’t allow social media to hurt your career. If your sites suggest you drink too much, curse a lot, or post nasty comments, people may question whether they want to work with you or hire you.<br /><br /><b>5. Learn to command the room.</b> You want to stand out -- in a good way. Dress appropriately. Walk into a room as though you belong there. Stand tall. Don’t fidget. Shake hands correctly and make small talk. When nervous, say something positive to yourself. Before she enters a meeting room, one woman I coached says to herself, “I own this meeting!”<br />
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<b>6. Offer your opinion.</b> If you don’t speak up in meetings, your
boss, colleagues, or clients won’t know what you know. And speak early
in the meeting. The longer you wait to talk, the harder it is likely to
become.<br /><br /><b>7. Monitor your volume. </b>Make sure you speak loudly enough to be heard. Many people don’t. Do not underestimate how powerful a strong voice can be – but don’t confuse powerful with shouting. You want your opinions, thoughts and ideas to register with others.<br /><br /><b>8. Apply for awards.</b> Winning professional or community awards helps to build your credibility, and can be an important way to promote yourself. To be eligible for many awards, other people have to recommend you; for some, however, you can nominate yourself. This is not an obnoxious thing to do. You still have to earn the award.<br /><br /><b>9. Be friendly and helpful. </b>People want to work with others they know, like and trust. It may seem obvious, but too often people neglect the little things that build relationships. Greet people you know and also those you don’t know. Smile. Say “please” and “thank you.” Help people when you can. Make connections for others, both online and in person.<br /><br /><b>10. Send thank-you notes.</b> In the New Year, start showing appreciation for the kindness of others. If you receive a gift, visit the home of a boss or colleague, or are a guest at a meal, you must send a note. You also need to send a thank-you note after a job interview.<br /><br />These 10 potential resolutions provide numerous possibilities for improving your career. There are many more communication suggestions discussed in my book, <a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic">T<i>he Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes</i> </a>(McGraw Hill, 2017).<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-18467753448005351402018-12-16T08:22:00.000-05:002018-12-16T08:22:06.976-05:007 Ways to Avoid Arguments During the Holiday Season <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>A woman threw a cookbook at her sister-in-law and screamed: “Maybe now you can cook a holiday dinner for us sometime.” </i><br /><br />With the holiday season here again, there are lots of opportunities for gift-giving, party-going and joyful celebrating. But, as the above story illustrates, there are also lots of opportunities for conflict.<br /><br />It’s easy for people to become stressed during the holidays, and as a result to become bothered by or blow up at another person’s behavior. Plus, we tend to have the same conflicts year after year with the same people – conflicts that are never resolved but simply pushed aside until they flare up again. <br /><br />Here are 7 “polite and powerful” suggestions for handling holiday conflict:<br /><br /><b>1. Accept what you can influence and what you can’t.</b> When you realize that you don’t have control over everything, it is much easier to accept things that are not within your power to manage. If your father has remarried, he will bring his wife to the New Year’s brunch. <br /><br /><b>2. Ask yourself: does it really matter? </b>Can you let it go? If you see your great aunt only once a year, can you tolerate her behavior? Yes, I know you are hearing her stories for the tenth time, but listening to her recall a happier time in her life is a kindness to her.</span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PS2stdt2W4U/XBZN7kPi1KI/AAAAAAAAA9c/3AXU7MqYl-UbTi1F9mVwBht8bEsxGVoFwCEwYBhgL/s1600/4offended.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="184" data-original-width="274" height="134" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PS2stdt2W4U/XBZN7kPi1KI/AAAAAAAAA9c/3AXU7MqYl-UbTi1F9mVwBht8bEsxGVoFwCEwYBhgL/s200/4offended.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>3. Identify the real issue.</b> When you get upset, it can be difficult to zero in on what truly is bothering you. Take time and think about the situation. It is easy to get upset about a current situation that masks a deeper concern. Is the issue that your brother arrives late to the holiday dinner, or that he doesn’t visit your mother in her retirement home? <br /><br /><b>4. Be clear about what you want from the person.</b> We often get upset with someone, but we don’t always know what we want from the other person. Be specific. If you would like your sister-in-law to contribute to the holiday dinner, you can ask: “Janet, will you please bring a vegetable dish on Sunday?” Additional information on putting your words together for a positive confrontation can be found in my book, <a href="http://bit.ly/2ndEdPPC"><i>The Power of Positive Confrontation</i></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null">. </a><br /><br /><b>5. Use polite language. </b>Practice saying the words out loud. Listen to how they sound. Are they harsh or attacking? Don’t pounce on the other person with statements such as “You’re selfish…” or “You’re such a cheap-skate….” These types of accusations are counterproductive to resolving conflict, and can lead to more conflict.<br /><br /><b>6. Confront in private.</b> If you do decide to say something, you don’t want others to hear the conversation. It can be embarrassing to the other person and to the people who hear the discussion. By extension, this means no posting any comments about the conversation on any social media sites. Also, make sure you are calm when you initiate this talk. If you are agitated, it is easy to blow up. <br /><br /><b>7. Listen to the other person’s response.</b> He or she may offer a reasonable alternative point of view, or provide an explanation for the behavior. Perhaps your sister isn’t flying home for the holidays because of financial difficulties she is too embarrassed to discuss. <br /><br />When you know how to confront politely on the major issues, it is easier to let the little ones go. Enjoy your time with family and friends. Happy holidays! </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a> provides training and coaching on assertive
communication and conflict. For more information, contact Joyce Hoff at
856.751.6141 or joyce@pachter.com.</span></span></span></span> </span>Barbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060766337249823419.post-77731317692276399232018-12-09T15:25:00.000-05:002018-12-09T15:25:16.920-05:00Do You Talk Too Much? Let Me Count the Ways! <i>You talk too much, You worry me to death, You talk too much, You even worry my pet… </i><br />
<br />The above lyrics, from the song <i>You Talk Too Much</i> by Joe Jones, sum up a communication distraction that many people have in the workplace – not expressing themselves succinctly.<br />
<br />If you over-talk, you may limit your opportunities for advancement.
Other consequences are that people may not want to work for you, or do
business with you. <br />
<br />Talking too much is not limited to individuals in any one
profession. I have coached IT directors, chief financial officers, sales
directors, and marketing managers who needed to learn how to express
themselves in fewer words. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hnu7YfZBPgI/XA12nL2vh1I/AAAAAAAAA9I/Lyj2bEQZ7T8bxpBMpDX3Fk1JX1vtLNPRQCEwYBhgL/s1600/Talk%2Bto%2Bmuch%2B2%2Band%2Bwoman-presenting_4460x4460.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="133" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hnu7YfZBPgI/XA12nL2vh1I/AAAAAAAAA9I/Lyj2bEQZ7T8bxpBMpDX3Fk1JX1vtLNPRQCEwYBhgL/s200/Talk%2Bto%2Bmuch%2B2%2Band%2Bwoman-presenting_4460x4460.jpg" width="200" /></a>But you can’t eliminate what you don’t know you are doing. Pay
attention to how you communicate. Do any of the following examples of
over-talking apply to you?<br />
<br /><b>1. Giving too much information</b>. During a meeting, a
supervisor was asked where he had bought his watch. Instead of saying
something like, “At a great local store when I was on vacation in San
Francisco,” he went into a five-minute monologue about searching six
different stores to find the perfect watch. If people need more detail,
they will ask you. One IT director eliminated a lot of the detail in his
emails, but added a closing sentence: “If you need additional
information, just let me know.” So far, no one has asked!<br />
<br /><b>2. Using too many words.</b> Instead of “Let’s get together next
week,” the person might say, “I was just thinking that, you know, if you
have some time and are not busy, we ought to get together next week.”
Say what you need to say in as few words as necessary.<br />
<br />
<b>3. Repeating the same thing over and over.</b> Make your comments, and then shut your mouth! Repeating your points can annoy others. <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>4. Repeating what someone said in different words.</b> Some
repetition can confirm to the other person that you have heard what he
or she has said. But in a group meeting, too much repetition can be
viewed as one-upmanship – the need to let everyone know that you also
knew that information. <br />
<br /><b>5. Offering your opinion when it’s not necessary. </b>This
can happen if you don’t read the cues from other meeting participants
that no more discussion is needed; or if you insist on offering
additional points at the end of a meeting when everyone else is ready to
leave. <br />
<br /> <b>6. Correcting when it’s not necessary.</b> Do you feel compelled
to point out small mistakes in other people’s information? You can come
off as a nit-picker when you correct things of little consequence. <br />
<br />Once you realize that you’re an over-talker, you can work to
eliminate this habit.<br />
<br />
Ask a trusted colleague or coach to help. This
person can point out when you are talking too much. You can also use
your voicemail system. Listen to how you describe something on the
messages you leave for others. If you are too wordy, redo the message.
Or, come up with a unique solution that works for you. One manager puts
the initials <i>KIS</i> at the top of his papers to remind himself to <i>Keep It Short</i> when he speaks at meetings. <br />
<br />Additional information on annoying communication habits can be found in my books, <a href="http://bit.ly/CommClinic"><i>The Communication Clinic</i></a> and <a href="http://bit.ly/BizEtiq"><i>The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success.</i></a><br />
<br /><a href="http://www.pachter.com/">Pachter & Associates</a>
provides training and coaching on communication skills. For additional
information, contact Joyce Hoff at 856.751.6141 or joyce@pachter.comBarbara Pachterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16690389214231484368noreply@blogger.com0