Imperfect Writing for Perfect Results

I write a couple of sentences and then delete them. Write a few more and delete them. It’s a constant, incredibly annoying process.

I always have to rewrite. Is there something wrong with me?

I was afraid to apply for a new position because it involved a lot of writing.   

The comments above, from participants in my writing seminars, illustrate the frustration business people often feel when tackling writing assignments. But it’s not just participants in such classes who suffer from fear of writing. Putting pen to paper – or fingers to keyboard – can be daunting for many people.

I believe that, to a large degree, the frustration comes from people trying to create a perfect piece of writing the first time they sit down to do an assignment, whether it’s a business email or a complicated report. They think that what they type should not need any correcting or rewriting.

They are wrong.

Creating an imperfect piece of writing – a draft – is part of the normal process of writing. Yes, I said normal.

Once you have a draft, you can set about revising it. Most people find it easier to correct their writing than to create the exact wording they want the first time they try. Many well-known people, including professional writers, have expressed their understanding of the importance of writing… and rewriting.

• There is no great writing, only great rewriting. – the late Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis

• I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. – author James Michener

I describe the making of a draft as “open writing.” This term is easy to remember, as you basically open yourself up and let the words flow. Here are six guidelines to help you with open writing:

1. Relax. People have a tendency to get nervous and then agonize over their writing assignments. Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect… yet. One seminar participant told me that once the pressure was off to create a perfect document on her first attempt, she was able to write.

2. Put the email address in last. If you are using open writing in an email, you don’t want to send the email before you have revised it, so leave the “To” line blank until you are satisfied with your message. If you are responding to an email, erase the address and add it when you are finished. (Additional suggestions on email can be found in my book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes, McGraw Hill, 2017.)

3. Write the way you speak. Most of us have no difficulty speaking coherently and clearly. When you write the way you speak, you are writing in a conversational tone, which helps you connect with your reader. Another advantage is that this approach often helps you to write quickly.

4. Don't stop writing. No crossing out or back-spacing. You don't want to disrupt the flow of your thoughts. If you find yourself going off in the wrong direction, write yourself out of it. You will rearrange your wording later. Computers make it very easy to cut-and-paste. (This term survives from a time when writers or editors revising drafts written on typewriters would literally cut up their written paragraphs and paste them in the order they preferred. See how much easier we have it!)

5. Set a time limit. When you sit down to write, allocate a certain amount of time. It doesn't need to be a lot of time. In my classes, my writing assignments are only five minutes in duration, but all the participants write between half a page and one and a half pages. That’s a lot of writing in just a few minutes. After my students have finished their open-writing assignments, I tell them that in the past, most of them probably stared at a blank computer screen for longer than five minutes. Now consider how much they’ve been able to write in the same time in class. That is when the light bulb usually goes on for them, and they realize the value of open writing.

6. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar… for now. You will correct your grammar and spelling before you hit the send button or mail that document. For now, you just want to write.

Once you have followed these six steps, you are not done. Let me say that again: You are not done. Now it is time to revise your writings – but now you have something to work on, instead of a blank screen.

Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on business writing,
communication, career development,  presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com) 

Toot Your Own Horn

The woman was well educated, well groomed, and spoke like a professional. Yet when asked about herself, she did not speak of her accomplishments, and she was very self-deprecating. When asked why, she responded, “I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging.”

Many people don’t talk about or post their accomplishments, or they discount themselves and their achievements with statements like “Oh, what I did was no big deal.” When you put yourself down, you make it easy to others not to take you or your work seriously.

In the business world, you can limit your chances of success when others don’t know what you do or what you have accomplished. Skillful self-promotion is a business strength. You don’t want to sound like a braggart, but you do want to highlight your accomplishments,

Here are eight suggestions for promoting yourself successfully without being off-putting: 

1. Be visible. Get involved at your company. Join any company clubs or activities that interest you. Use the work gym, if there is one. Volunteer for assignments. Offer to make presentations, and volunteer to train others. If possible, write articles for your company publications. Run for office in your professional and community organizations.

2. Enter competitions and apply for awards. A lot of people avoid doing this—they say it’s too self-serving. Yet, winning awards is a way for people who know you, but especially those who don’t know you, to find out about your talents. It builds your credibility. And make sure you promote your successes. For instance, my selection as one of the Best 50 Women in Business in New Jersey by NJBIZ Magazine was highlighted on my website.

3. Post your accomplishments on your social-media sites. However, be careful not to mention the same accomplishment over and over. You can overdo it and make yourself sound like a braggart. There is a balance. You must speak of other things, not just about what you do well. This also can apply to forwarding good news about your team or your work to others via email.

4. Have a prepared self-introduction. You may find yourself in situations in which you have to introduce yourself. Being prepared will allow you to be comfortable speaking about yourself. Make sure you say your first and last name and add a few brief comments about yourself.

5. When asked, do tell. If someone asks you how you are doing at work, it is your opportunity to mention any new accomplishments. Without going into too much detail, tell the person about any recent promotions, unique projects, additional responsibilities, and so on. 

6. Weave your accomplishments into conversation, when appropriate. For example, when I talk in seminars about how men tend to interrupt more than women during meetings, I mention comments from my seminar participants in Oman, in the Middle East. These remarks add to the discussion, and they also highlight my international experience.

7. Use comparisons. I once coached a manager on how to use her experience preparing for the Boston Marathon as a way to answer questions about how she would prepare for a company’s market expansion. The comparisons were legitimate and helpful to her audience – and, of course, the higher-ups were quite impressed by the fact that she ran a marathon.

8. Speak well of others. You appear gracious when you speak of other peoples’ accomplishments, not just your own.


Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on career development, business etiquette, and communication. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at  joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com)

Fighting back – literally – against harassment

How does this assertiveness course apply to the sexual harassment concerns in our workplaces today?

I have tried to stay away from heated topics in this blog, but since I was asked the question above in my assertiveness class, I decided it was time to comment publicly.

I told the participants in my class that what we talk about in the seminar can be helpful – to a degree. Assertiveness means not presenting yourself as a victim – using your posture to stand tall, your words to speak out, and your voice to speak up loudly. But, ultimately, eliminating harassment in our workplaces requires numerous actions.

After her co-host Charlie Rose was accused of harassment recently, television journalist Norah O’Donnell said on her show, CBS This Morning: "This is a moment that demands a frank and honest assessment about where we stand and more generally the safety of women. Let me be very clear: There is no excuse for this alleged behavior. It is systematic and pervasive. ... This I know is true: women cannot achieve equality in the workplace or in society until there is a reckoning and a taking of responsibility.”

Many things can be done to help women – and men – feel safe. Having a sexual harassment policy in the workplace and providing training to employees about sexual harassment are two important actions. I also believe that teaching women (and girls) to fight – encouraging them to learn how to defend themselves physically – can be a key component of empowering women and decreasing harassment, in the workplace and elsewhere.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 10 years old. 

During a camp trip to an amusement park, while I was walking through one of the attractions, a man came up behind me and grabbed both my breasts. I fought back, and then I ran away. But to this day, my loving husband cannot affectionately surprise me from behind without risking getting hit by me. The scars of assault aren’t forgotten, and I still react reflexively.

I believe I fought back against my attacker because I was used to fighting. My two sisters and I would fight like dogs and cats all the time. Physically fight. (Don’t worry, we are best friends today.)

I suggest that women (and girls) should take self-defense classes and/or practice martial arts. They need to know that they can defend themselves from harm. They need to know what fighting back feels like. I took Judo in college, and the Model Mugging self-defense class as an adult. And I made sure my only child learned self-defense, too – my son has his black belt in karate.

I am not advocating for violence – I am advocating for self-defense. I am suggesting that through these classes, women will gain confidence in their physical presence, and in their ability to defend themselves. They can gain a sense of their own power, which may help them not to be seen as potential victims, in the street or in the office.

Also, I am not saying that taking a self-defense class or teaching young girls that it’s okay to fight back will solve everything. It won’t. It is simply one possible response for some difficult situations.

Many women who are harassed in the workplace are fearful that they will lose their jobs or careers. Make no mistake, this is a horrible position to be in, and a horrible choice to have to make. The current rash of allegations about harassment at work makes it clear that employers have much to do to make our workplaces safe for everyone.  

But, knowing that you can defend yourself provides an option for you, if your boundaries are crossed.  

As Nicole Sundine, a speaker and trainer in the field of personal safety, has said: “Feeling confident in your ability to protect yourself empowers you to live with less fear and more freedom.” 


I post regularly on communication and etiquette.  We can connect via LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and my website: www.pachter.com

About: Barbara Pachter is an internationally-renowned business etiquette and communications speaker, coach and author of 11 business books. She helps individuals communicate more effectively and enhance their professional presence. Pachter is also adjunct faculty in the School of Business at Rutgers University.

Part 2: How You Speak – and Stand – Can Hurt You

As I discussed last week, I recently came across one of my old newsletter articles listing 25 behaviors women exhibit in the workplace that cause them to lose power and visibility. Unfortunately, many women today still practice those behavioral traits, and by doing so they handicap their own careers.

Part one of my blog about these behaviors, which was posted last week, talked about the first 11 items on that list, including how to present yourself in meetings and how to promote your achievements. The comments I received in response, from both men and women, were encouraging, and included such words as “interesting,” “fascinating,” and “good stuff.” The analytics from the posting showed that many people forwarded the blog to colleagues, and others posted it on their Facebook pages or tweeted it to their followers.

I believe that this week’s discussion will be equally helpful. Part two picks up mid-list, and offers suggestions (below) about several other areas in which you can increase your visibility and power, and help your own career.

SPEAK WITH POWER:

12. Don’t say, “I don’t know,” when you do know. These are the three little words that many women use towards the end of their comments that wipe out their credibility. A woman may outline her thoughts on a topic and then say, “Oh, I don’t know,” or “But I don’t know...what do you think?”

13. Watch out for “I think.”  If you say “I think,” you are indicating that you are unsure or don’t know. If that is true, then the use of “I think” is okay. But women have a tendency to use “I think” when they know. One vice president wanted to persuade a client that her company could meet the client’s deadline. During her presentation, she said, “I think we will meet your deadline.” The client went elsewhere.

14. Use direct statements instead of questions. When you use a question instead of a statement, you are giving the other person the opportunity to say “no.” Instead of giving away your power by asking, “Can I add something?” say, “I’d like to add to that.” Instead of asking, “Could you clarify that statement?” say, “I need additional information.” More information on assertiveness can be found in my book, The Power of Positive Confrontation. 

15. Speak loudly. If I could say just one thing to women, after 20 years of helping them to get and maintain the visibility they deserve, it would be: “Speak up!” Women often speak too softly, and make it easy for others to tune them out.

16. Eliminate the giggle. Many women giggle at the end of their sentences, and often don’t realize it. It makes them sound like little girls, and that’s a real power drain. Ask a trusted friend or colleague whether you have this tendency, or try to listen to yourself. One woman found out she had this habit when she heard her twin sister giggling at the end of her sentences.

ESTABLISH RAPPORT WITH OTHERS: 

17. Greet and acknowledge others. As you walk around, say hello to people – the ones you know and those you don’t know. Many employees judge the effectiveness of their managers on whether they greet and acknowledge others.

18. Enter a room confidently. Walk into a room as though you belong there. Keep your head up and your shoulders back. Have a deliberate stride. 

19. Make small talk. I hear lots of reasons from women why they don’t want to make small talk. Some women say it’s not their personality. Others say if they make small talk with men, the men will think they are flirting. Think again! Small talk is an important business tool. It breaks the ice with people, establishes common ground, and allows people to get to know one another better. And you can talk to men without your intentions being misunderstood. Just keep the talk professional and not too personal.

20. Be proactive. Go up to people at professional gatherings. Don’t just wait for people to come to you. Introduce yourself with a line like, “Hello, I’m Barbara Pachter. I’m one of the speakers for the meeting. And you are…?” Shake hands, also.

ESTABLISH YOUR PROFESSIONAL IMAGE: 

21. Pay attention to your body language. Don’t cross your ankles while standing. An amazing number of women still do this. It makes them look awkward and nervous. Stand assertively – no slouching, and feet shoulder-width apart. Don’t wring your hands or play with rubber bands, paperclips, or your hair. If you do, you are telling people you are nervous.

22. Shake hands correctly. Many women weren't taught to shake hands. Others are under the impression that women don’t have to shake hands. Wrong! And a limp handshake is almost worse than no handshake. To shake hands correctly, touch thumb joint to thumb joint. Your grip should be firm but not bone-breaking.

23. Stand up when shaking hands. Many women also were taught that they do not need to stand. I disagree. Women do need to stand, otherwise they are sending the message: “I’m not as important.” You are on more equal footing when you stand up. When I shake hands with the participants in my seminars, only 35% of the women stand; 75% percent of the men stand. 

24. Dress appropriately. A very bright and competent woman was told she wasn’t promoted because of her sexy dressing habits. In a professional situation, you don’t want to wear clothing that’s too low, too short, too sexy, or too anything. Think about the message you are sending when you wear short skirts. You’re not saying, “Look at me because I know what I’m doing.” You’re saying, “Look at me because I have great legs.” Additional information on business and business casual dress can be found in my book, The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success.

25. Don’t become the “mother.” Your role is not to “take care of” or “baby” others. After a coaching session with me, a woman cleared the table as we were leaving my office. When I asked her why she did this, she said, “I guess I feel like it’s my responsibility to clean up messes.”

Women who want successful careers can, and should, take a look at their own behavior in the workplace to make sure that they aren’t holding themselves back.


I post regularly on communication and etiquette.  We can connect via LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and my website: www.pachter.com

About: Barbara Pachter is an internationally-renowned business etiquette and communications speaker, coach and author of 11 business books. She helps individuals communicate more effectively and enhance their professional presence. Pachter is also adjunct faculty in the School of Business at Rutgers University.

How Business Women Can Handicap Their Careers

Once again, I am teaching my assertiveness class in the School of Business at Rutgers University this semester. Since women make up almost 90 percent of the class, I will highlight the behaviors women exhibit in the workplace that can cause them to lose visibility and power. These verbal and non-verbal actions send the message: “It’s OK to discount me,” “Don’t listen to me,” and “Don’t take me as seriously as that man on the other side of the table.” 

One of my old newsletter articles described 25 promotion-hindering behaviors by women in the workplace. Unfortunately, these behaviors are still happening, and still limiting women’s careers.

Listed below are the first 11 points addressed in that newsletter, updated where necessary for today's workplace. Part two will be posted next week, and will cover the remaining 14 items. These discussions include speaking with power, establishing rapport, and professional image.

IN MEETINGS:

1. Contribute – even if it’s a stretch. Women tell me that contributing in meetings can be difficult, especially if they are of lower rank than the other participants, or the only woman present. Get over it! You need to contribute, or your visibility factor goes to zero. Men tend to contribute more, so their ideas are adopted more often. Be prepared. Before a meeting, consider what you might be asked or what you can contribute. Speak early – ask a question or make an observation or statement. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to build up your nerve to speak. 

2. Don’t ask permission to talk. Women often ask, “May I say something?” Others raise a hand to “request” permission to speak.  One high-level corporate lawyer was shocked when she realized she was the only person in the meeting raising her hand. Instead, say something like, “The question remaining is…” or just start talking to add your point.

3. Interrupt. Interrupting can be an annoying speaking habit, but sometimes it’s vital for women to put aside the niceties to create an opportunity to speak. When interrupting, you can say, “To build on what you are saying…” or “We also need to discuss….” or something similar.

4. Be assertive if interrupted.  When a man interrupts a woman, she often will stop talking. As I described in a previous blog, an article in the Harvard Business Review, Female Supreme Court Justices are interrupted more by male justices and advocates, found that male justices interrupted female justices about three times as often as they interrupted each other during oral arguments. The research also found that “there is no point at which a woman is high-status enough not to be interrupted.” Women have to resist the impulse to give up the floor automatically to men. Don’t ask permission to continue, such as “Can I finish?” Jump right back in with a polite and powerful comment such as, “Hold that thought…,” “I wasn't finished…,” or “I’ll talk about that in just a second….”

5. Stand when appropriate to present your ideas. Women stay seated much too often. Standing is a more powerful position, because it forces others to look up to you.

6. Don’t take notes. A woman told me she was the only person in the room taking notes when others spoke. The men just listened. As a result, she appeared to be the administrative assistant.

7. Know when to stop talking. Women tend to give too much detail. If you go on and on, others will tune you out. Make your point succinctly, and then stop talking!

BECOME A SELF-PROMOTER:

8. Toot your own horn. You don’t want to be obnoxious, but you must learn to speak well of yourself. There are a number of ways to do this. You can apply for awards and enter competitions. You can also post your accomplishments on your social media sites — just don’t mention the same accomplishment over and over. You can also weave your accomplishments into a story or illustration, as if you are offering the information for the other person’s benefit.  For example, when I talk in seminars about how men tend to interrupt more than women during meetings, I mention comments from my seminar participants in Oman, in the Middle East. These remarks add to the discussion, and they also highlight my international experience.

9. Give formal presentations. Giving presentations increases your visibility within your company/department. As a bonus, it can help you become known as an expert.  If public speaking makes you nervous, take a class on presentation skills. Giving effective presentations is a skill that can be mastered, with training and practice. Additional information on presentation skills can be found in my new book, The Communication Clinic.

10. Accept compliments. Women often discount themselves when given a compliment.  If someone tells you, “Great job,” don’t say, “Oh, it was nothing,” or “Anyone could have done it.”  Accept that compliment by saying, “Thank you,” and then shut your mouth!

11. Eliminate self-discounting language. Self-discounting words include: kinda, sorta, maybe, perhaps, probably, just, and actually. These are the extra words that, when added to sentences, discount what the speaker is saying.  If you say, “Maybe we have to look at all the possibilities,” others will think, “Well, should we or shouldn't we?” If you say, “It’s kinda a problem and perhaps we should…” the other person could dismiss the whole idea as wishy-washy.


I post regularly on communication and etiquette.  We can connect via LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and my website: www.pachter.com

About: Barbara Pachter is an internationally-renowned business etiquette and communications speaker, coach and author of 11 business books. She helps individuals communicate more effectively and enhance their professional presence. Pachter is also adjunct faculty in the School of Business at Rutgers University.

Avoiding the ‘Seven Deadly Sins’ Committed by Workers

I had to fire one of my employees because he hadn’t shown any initiative in my fast-paced, creative work environment.

A colleague made this comment to me, and I responded that her employee had committed one of the Workers’ Seven Deadly Sins – the work traits that lead to employees being ignored, not promoted, or even fired.

In today’s highly competitive workplace, you want to be seen as a helpful and vital employee. You want to stand out, in a positive way. Ask yourself if you exhibit any of the negative traits below, and resolve to eliminate them if you do.

1. Not showing initiative. Are you trying new or better ways to accomplish your work? Be proactive. Is your employer gaining anything extra from you? As my colleague’s employee found out, most employers want you to go above and beyond.

2. Paying little attention to details. Are there mistakes in your work? Notice the little things, proof your writings, and double-check any numbers. There can be consequences if you don’t. One engineer wrote the wrong house number on a work order – and his employees ripped up the wrong driveway.

3. Not offering to help. You come across as a team player when you do offer help. Before she left for the day, one young woman always asked her boss, “Is there anything else I can do for you before I leave?” She quickly rose up the corporate ladder.

4. Not staying current with changes in your profession. You don’t want to be left behind. Continue learning. Stay abreast of any trends in your field. Take advantage of any training your company offers. Stay up-to-date with technology, including changes in social media.

5. Not having a professional demeanor. You want to convey a confident and credible image. Be aware of your verbal and nonverbal communication. Are you speaking too softly or loudly? Are you dressing appropriately for your position? Do you use filler words (“okay,” “all right,” “like”) that take away from your comments? Are you using profanity that destroys your credibility? Additional information on professional presence can be found in my new book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes.

6. Not conveying enthusiasm for your job. Show interest in your work. Be eager to get the job done, and done well. Arrive on time, or early. Stay late when necessary, without complaint. Give sincere compliments. Speak well of others, avoid downbeat topics, and stop complaining. Don’t criticize your employer, your boss, customers, or your co-workers on your social media sites.

7. Not being friendly. Nobody likes to work with people who ignore them. Smile. Make an effort to say “hello,” “good morning,” etc. to people you know – and to those you don’t know.

Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on communication, career development, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com) 

The ‘DO NOT SAY’ List

After discussing self-discounting language in a communications class, a participant suggested that I create a “DO NOT SAY” list. I thought it was a great idea. Having a list of phrases to avoid can help people steer clear of language that could have a negative impact on their careers, particularly if used frequently.

Listed below are my top eight suggestions for the “DO NOT SAY” list. Using these comments in business (and life) can diminish your stature in the eyes of others, minimize what you are saying, or tarnish your professional image.

--Can I ask a question? You don’t have to ask permission; just ask the question.

--I’m sorry to bother you. Why are you a bother? You can say, “Excuse me. Do you have a moment?”

--I was hoping that you could spare a few moments. Same as above. Simply say, “Excuse me. Do you have a moment?”

--Thank you for listening to me. At the end of a presentation, you should say, “Thank you.” This lets the audience know that the presentation is over. You don’t have to thank people for listening to you. Aren’t your comments and opinions worthwhile?

--Is it okay if I give my thoughts? Avoid asking this question. The other person is not in charge of the flow of the conversation. Discussions should go two ways.

--I will be honest with you. Aren’t you always honest? You don’t need to use this phrase.

--I was just wondering if perhaps. This phrase is a passive way of asking a question or backing into a statement. You can eliminate “I was just wondering if perhaps” and simply ask a question or make a statement. Instead of “I was just wondering if perhaps there will be enough computers for the project?” you can say, “Will there be enough computers for the project?”

--I may be wrong about this.... You don’t need to use this weak beginning to your sentences. It undermines the content of your statement.

Monitor your conversations. Are you using these comments? Additional tips on communication can be found in my new book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes (December 2016, McGraw-Hill).

(This blog updates a previous one from a number of years ago.)

7 Ways to engage with people – for people who don’t like to engage!

My customer complained to my supervisor that I answered the phone, “Yea. What’s up?”
 
I was told that if I wanted to move up in my organization, I had to get out of my office more.
 
How could she not know what an Ethernet cord is?  When I finally said “the blue cord,” she got it! 

Lately, I have worked with several people with outstanding technical skills whose career growth has been limited by their inability to connect with others.  They were referred to me for coaching to provide them with the necessary skills to engage successfully with coworkers, bosses, customers, and clients.

People want to hire, work with, promote, and do business with individuals they know and like. If you were not born with the “gift of gab,” and many people weren't, you can learn the skills that enable you to connect with others.

Here are 7 suggestions that will help you to engage more easily with others in your workplace. 

1. Do your homework. Knowing a little about topics that are important to your customers and colleagues will make it easier to make conversation. You don’t have to be an expert on every topic, but learn enough to allow you to participate.  And convey interest in the person you are talking to through your body language. Look at him or her, and maintain a pleasant facial expression.

2. Be approachable. Some people have told me that they don’t want to be approached because people will ask them work questions. My response is twofold: You don’t have to answer every question asked of you. You can use a polite line to defer your response, such as, “I’m on my way to a meeting; please call or text me to schedule some time.” But if the question has a simple answer, why not help the person immediately? Chances are, the questioner will find you later anyway. 

3. Remember “the blue cord.” You should use language that your colleagues or customers will understand. Using a technical word that someone doesn’t recognize can distance you from that person. Some people understand what to do if they are told to “Pull out the Ethernet cord” from amid a tangle of cables, for instance, but those who are less tech-savvy need simpler terms: “Pull out the blue cord.” 

4. Keep your phone off the table when meeting with someone. Yes, you read that correctly. Having your phone visible tells the other person, “I am so ready to drop you and connect with someone else.” And some people put two phones on the table! 

5. Don’t overload people with unnecessary information. Only give them as much data as they need. Some technical people believe that they have to impart all the facts, but their customers, colleagues, or bosses may have a lower threshold for details – and tune out once it is reached.

6. Learn to socialize. This is an important business skill. You get to meet people, and they get to meet you, which can benefit you in many ways. You may meet potential new customers, enhance your chances of promotion, or simply enjoy some new friends. Go up to people, greet them, shake hands, and make conversation. The more you do it, the easier it will get.  

7. Call people. Don’t communicate via email and text exclusively. Calling people on the phone when appropriate creates a more personal connection. Also remember to sound pleasant and enthusiastic. When you answer the phone, be friendly. Say hello, give your name (“Gavin Jones speaking”), and, when appropriate, ask, “How may I help you?”

These are not the only ways to engage with others, but they are important ones. Additional suggestions can be found in my new book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes (McGraw Hill, 2017). 

As you go through your day, remind yourself of the value of connecting, and make a conscious effort to reach out. Soon these actions will become second nature to you.

Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com)

Need to prepare a presentation quickly? Follow these 7 guidelines

I was just given an assignment to present at a community meeting, but I have very little time to prepare. What should I do?
 
This question was asked by one of my students, and it brings up a communication dilemma – how do you put together a presentation when you don’t have a lot of time to prepare?  This task can baffle the best of us. But there’s no need to panic. Here are some suggestions to put together a presentation quickly:   

1. Think about your audience. Who are they? How much do they already know about your topic? What more do they want to know? If you address the needs and concerns of the people in your audience, they are more likely to listen to you.  

2. Define your objective and the key points quickly. You don’t have time to waste. People often spend too much of what little time they have agonizing over these items. Make a decision and get started.  You can now focus on what you want to convey to the audience. (Additional information on structuring your presentation can be found in my new book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes.) 

3. Consider whether you have any stories to support your key points. Stories bring your presentation to life. Keep them succinct and to the point. Your audience will remember the story, and as a result, they’ll also remember the message in your presentation.

4. Practice out loud. Have at least one practice. You want to hear how the presentation sounds.  

5. Pay attention to your delivery. You want to appear confident and credible – even if you are uncomfortable. Use good posture, and look at people in the audience. Don’t sway. Avoid nervous fiddling, such as playing with a pen or rubber band. Dress slightly better than your audience, and speak loudly enough to be heard. 

6. Don’t discount yourself. Avoid comments that belittle you or your talk. These include such statements as, “I hope I don’t bore you; I didn’t have a lot of time to put this together…” or “I know you didn’t come here just to hear me.”  

7. Anticipate the questions. Once the presentation is together, spend just a couple of minutes thinking about the questions that you may be asked. Decide how you will respond to them. If you do, you are less likely to be caught off guard.

There is a lot more you can – and should – do to prepare for a presentation, but these quick tips will help you prepare an effective presentation when time is short.

Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. (www.pachter.com)

New Year’s Resolutions To Improve Your Communication Skills

It’s that time of year again – the time to make New Year’s resolutions. But instead of just going the traditional route – pledging to join a gym to work off holiday excesses – why not opt to give your career a boost as well? Resolve to improve your communication skills.

Yes, you read that last sentence correctly!  How you communicate with others—whether in person, in writing, or online—has a tremendous impact on your career. It affects every aspect of your working life, no matter how good your specialized skills are in your particular field.

For the coming year, make these communication resolutions to enhance your career:

1. Resolve to keep your phone off the table when meeting with someone. Having your phone visible tells the other person, “I am so ready to drop you and connect with someone else.”  It’s important to give people your full attention.

2. Take a presentation skills class. Work on becoming a better presenter. You need to get your point across. And if you do so effectively, not only does your audience gain information, but you look good.

3. Use “reply all” only when it is necessary for everyone on the list to see the email. In my classes, many participants say they really dislike receiving unnecessary emails. If you don’t want to receive unwanted emails, you need to stop overusing “reply all,” also.

4. Be smart with social media. Don’t allow social media to hurt your career. If your sites suggest you drink too much, curse a lot, or post nasty comments, people may question whether they want to work with you or hire you.

5. Offer your opinion. If you don’t speak up in meetings, your boss, colleagues, or clients won’t know what you know. And speak early in the meeting. The longer you wait to talk, the harder it is likely to become.

6. Learn to command the room. Dress appropriately. Walk into a room as though you belong there. Stand tall. Don’t fidget. Shake hands correctly. When nervous, say something positive to yourself. Before she enters a meeting room, one woman I coached says to herself, “I own this meeting!” 

7. Monitor your volume. Make sure you speak loudly enough to be heard. Many people don’t. Do not underestimate how powerful a strong voice can be – but don’t confuse powerful with shouting. You want your opinions, thoughts and ideas to register with others.

8. Apply for awards. Winning professional or community awards helps to build your credibility, and can be an important way to promote yourself. To be eligible for many awards, other people have to recommend you; for some, however, you can nominate yourself. This is not an obnoxious thing to do. You still have to earn the award.

9. Be friendly and helpful. People want to work with others they know, like and trust. It may seem obvious, but too often people neglect the little things that build relationships. Greet people you know and also those you don’t know. Smile. Say “please” and “thank you.” Help people when you can. Make connections for others, both online and in person.

10. Send thank-you notes. In the New Year, start showing appreciation for the kindness of others. If you receive a gift, visit the home of a boss or colleague, or are a guest at a meal, you must send a note. You also need to send a thank-you note after a job interview.

These 10 potential resolutions provide numerous possibilities for improving your career. There are many more communication suggestions discussed in my new book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes (McGraw Hill, December 2016).


Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at  joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. 
 

How not to be overlooked at work

I am not asked to attend certain meetings where I believe my input would be helpful. I don’t know what to do.

I am being slighted at work. I don’t get the good assignments. And I need those skills to move up in my organization.

These comments and others from my seminar participants suggest that some people believe they are being overlooked at work. Yet there are often two sides to a story. As the quote below illustrates, sometimes when people are given opportunities to be noticed, they don’t make the most of them.

I was nervous when I attended the senior management meeting. I stood by myself and didn’t talk to anyone. My boss was furious at me. She said it was my opportunity to get known and I blew it.

Regardless of which side you identify with, here are some general guidelines to help you stand out – in a good way:

Don't make it easy for people to ignore you.  Walk into a room like you belong there. Go up to people and introduce yourself, shake hands correctly, and make conversation with others. Pay attention to your nonverbal communication. Look people in the eye when you speak. Don’t cross your arms. Speak loudly enough to be heard – many people don't.  And dress professionally. Your clothes need to be clean, pressed, in good condition, fit well, and be appropriate for your position. 

Speak up if something is bothering you. If you don't bring up situations that you believe are unfair, others may assume you are passive, and it’s unlikely anything will change. The key is to pick situations that are important, and to voice your concerns assertively. "Boss, I haven't been asked to attend the marketing meetings, yet I believe my suggestions on the budget would be helpful to the team. I would like to attend next week's meeting."

Make use of your network and mentors. Talk to people you trust about your specific situation. Get their suggestions. If you don't have mentors or a network, start developing them. (Additional information on building your network can be found in my new book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes.)

Have “fire in your belly.” Have a powerful sense of determination – of working hard to succeed. Some people seem to be born with this attribute; others have to develop it. To ignite that blaze, go above and beyond. Do more than what is expected of you. Help others. Show initiative and do good work. Make sure you have all the necessary schooling and/or certifications. Convey enthusiasm for your work. Meet or beat your deadlines. When you can, solve problems. Get to work early, and don’t rush out the door at the end of the day.

There are many other things you can do to enhance your career, but these four items are key to helping you get noticed – an important part of any professional’s development.


More information on career development can also be found in my book The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success.   

Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at  joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. 

Moving on? The etiquette for leaving a job

An article in the Wall Street Journal a few weeks ago talked about a possible developing trend in the workplace – more workers are leaving their jobs without giving the traditional two weeks’ notice.

The reasons given for “quitting without notice” included frustration with their jobs (both younger and older employees) and not knowing the appropriate way to quit. One young woman mentioned that she had seen characters on the television drama “Suits” who quit and immediately walked out of the office, and assumed that was the way it was done.

Moving to a new position is not unusual in today’s workplace. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the “quit rate” in May of this year was 2%, or 2.9 million workers. (“Quits” are generally voluntary separations initiated by the employee.) This number was up over the previous year’s May rate of 1.9%, or 2.7 million people.

Quitting without giving notice can be difficult for an employer who has to replace you, and may negatively affect your reputation. A prospective employer might question whether to hire you if it is known that you were willing to leave your previous employer in the lurch.

If you quit in a professional manner, however, you could enhance your reputation and your options for the future. One woman I coach told me that the last thing her former boss said to her was, “You are welcome to come back any time!”

Here are five key actions to take so the rude practice of “quitting without notice” doesn’t become a trend: 

1. Let your boss know. Have a conversation in person, or, if that is not possible, let the boss know via a phone call. Do not quit in text! Plan a quiet time for your meeting, and practice what you want to say. Get right to the point (“I am handing in my resignation...”) and explain why, such as “I received a fantastic offer,” or “The new position is the next step in my career development.”

2. Don’t burn your bridges. Be positive, though this may be a stretch if you disliked your boss. Find some reason to express appreciation – “This was a difficult decision for me, and I want to thank you for the opportunity to be part of your team.”  No matter how long you have fantasized about telling your boss off – don’t do it. It might make you feel wonderful for ten seconds, but later you probably would feel bad about it. And the only thing you would accomplish would be to lose a reference. Also, do not post any nasty or gloating comments on Facebook or other social media.

3. Let other people know. You also need to tell or email your subordinates, colleagues and clients/customers. A woman I mentored used the email below to tell a group of her clients at the same company that she was leaving. It could be adapted to fit a variety of situations.

Hello,
I wanted to reach out to everyone to share some news. This Friday will be my last day.

Over the past year, you have provided me with the opportunity to grow, have challenged and supported me, and have helped me to become a better account supervisor. I am grateful, and couldn't leave without expressing my appreciation for your many kindnesses.

I have enjoyed working with all of you. Although I am sad to leave, I will be moving on to a new opportunity to continue my growth and career development.

I hope to have a chance to see everyone to say goodbye in person.

All the best,

4. Thank people. Make a special effort to thank the people who have gone out of their way for you. One departing employee took his office manager to lunch as a special thank-you.

5. Make the transition easy for your replacement. Be as up-to-date as you can. Leave detailed notes. If possible, introduce the person replacing you to the key people with whom he or she will be working.


Additional information on career development can be found in my book The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success. 

Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at  joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. 

Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Do you agree with “No, I Agree”?

Why does my manager say “No, I agree” – when she agrees with me? It doesn’t make any sense to start with a “no.”

This question from a seminar participant reminded me that I have meant to discuss this communication conundrum for some time.

The above manager who confuses my seminar participant is using what I call a “contradictory phrase.” This is a term frequently used to describe an expression where the first part seems to contradict the second, as in “organized chaos” or “original copies.” This type of wording is sometimes called an oxymoron, and is often intentionally used for humor or to create rhetorical effect. Examples include “pretty ugly” or “sweet sorrow.”

However, this article is not about crafting such wording for literary effect. This is about the specific use of “no” as the first part of a phrase, followed by wording that seems contradictory. As illustrated above, this can occur when someone agrees with you by saying, “No, I agree.” It also pops up when someone tells you that you are correct by saying, “No, you’re right.” Other examples include, “No, I’m certain,” “No, you’re fine,” and “No, I’m sure.” 

This is a kind of verbal idiosyncrasy that many people don’t notice – but once they become aware of its use, it can drive them crazy.

So why do people use these types of phrases? Based upon my research, I have come up with three reasons:

Sometimes these phrases are said sarcastically, such as on this ecard that’s part of the humorous “rotten” series: No, you’re right. Let’s do it the dumbest way possible because it’s easier for you. 

Or, the person says “no” as part of an unspoken addition to a comment, such as “No, I don’t disagree with that. I agree.” The other person is supposed to know what was left unsaid and fill in the blanks. And sometimes in casual conversation that will happen. But not always.

And sometimes people just say “no” as a matter of course. There are some people who have a tendency to respond negatively to any comment or request – at least at first. I admit that I did that when my son was young. Saying “no” immediately gave me a second to evaluate what he wanted, before I (sometimes) agreed to his request. I found myself making comments such as, “No. [slight pause] You can sleep over at Max’s house.” When I realized how often I was saying things like that, I stopped saying “no” and replaced it with the phrase “Let me think about it.”

Other solutions to eliminating these types of contradictory phrases include:

• Eliminate the “no.” Simply state your response. Instead of saying, “No, you’re right,” say, “You’re right.” It’s a more positive comment.

• Explain the unspoken.  Instead of saying, “No, you’re fine,” you would clarify, “No, I don’t think you’re inappropriately dressed. You’re fine.”

Additional information on communication can be found in my book The Essentials of Business Etiquette: How to Greet, Eat, and Tweet Your Way to Success. 

Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, presentation skills, professional presence, and etiquette. For additional information, please contact Joyce Hoff at  joyce@pachter.com or 856.751.6141. 

Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net